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“I want you so much,” he says, taking both my hands in his. He kisses the back of one hand and then the other, then looks up at me with a trace of a smile.
Holy hell, what is he doing to me? Whatever it is, I think it might kill me.
His smile grows bigger and something horrible starts creeping in at the edge of my mind. “Are you making fun of me?” I ask.
I jerk my hands away from him and practically fall out of the car. I never know when to take him seriously, and now I look like the biggest fool.
“Sky, don’t do this,” he calls, throwing open his door.
“Leave me alone,” I say, pulling my bag from the back seat.
“Why are you acting like this?” he asks, sounding genuinely confused.
Daria’s words from last night come back to me, how she said Colin always made her feel crazy.
Is that what Chase is trying to do?
“You already have a girlfriend,” I snap, my throat so tight it aches. “And I don’t appreciate being made fun of just because you know how to embarrass me. Now get back in the car, and go home to her, so you can fly off on your romantic vacation together. I’m not going to be your side piece, or one of your lionesses.”
“My what?”
“Forget it.”
“Let me get your bag at least,” he pleads, trying to take my duffel.
“No. You need to leave. Now.” I push him so hard her stumbles over one of the plant pots lining the driveway and tumbles to the ground. Trying not to laugh, I stomp up the steps and into my aunt’s house.
Lily is standing beside the door looking out the glass panel.
“Did you hit that man?” she asks, wide-eyed. “Mom said violence is never the answer.”
“Try telling Dad that,” I mutter under my breath.
“What?” she asks.
“Yes, I pushed him,” I say with a sigh. “But he deserved it. Sometimes being nice doesn’t work, and you have to be mean to get what you want.”
*
I sit on my bed staring at the wall, still groggy from the hangover. I don’t want to lose my friends. Not just Lindsey but all of them. If I keep going like this, I’m going to.
Someone is going to notice this tension between me and Chase, and even if nothing happens between us, they won’t believe it.
So I’m going to forget about him.
It’s my only option. It’s either that, or lose everything I’ve wanted my whole life, just when I’ve finally gotten a taste of it for the first time.
No matter how much it sucks, I’m going to have to be strong. Like I was just now. I’ll just keep refusing him, and eventually, he’ll get it.
I’ll put him out of my head, appreciate Todd, and remember that even Chase London isn’t worth losing everyone else for. If I have to, I’ll put myself in detention and write it a hundred times a day until I believe it.
I do not want Chase London.
I do not like Chase London.
I do not love Chase London.
I cannot have Chase London.
One day, it will all be true. Until then, I can pretend.
I’ll push him away if he tries anything. I’ll treat him like any other guy. Like no one special. Like he’s not the boy who can melt my heart and slip through defenses and break down the walls that no one else can.
I have two weeks off school, two weeks to start moving on, to put it all behind me and forget all about him. To build a wall of ice in place of the stone wall he broke down, so I can stay cool as a spring breeze in the face of all his hotness. A wall so strong that even his molten lava gaze can’t burn through it, even his blinding smile can’t find a chink to shine through, even his gentlest caress can’t dissolve.
I’ll fortify my heart against him until I can take all that Chase London can dish out, and I’ll remain as unaffected as Daria. I will find the antidote to the plague that is Chase London’s attention, and I will come back immune.
To be continued…
