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“Crap, I don’t want him to see me crying.”
“Girls, keep them busy but don’t say anything. I’m gonna run Em to the bathroom so she can clean up.”
Cami grabs my hand and pulls me to the back of the bar and down the short hall and into the women’s bathroom. I am not sure how we luck out but we do and the room is empty. Cami locks the door, hands me some paper towels from the dispenser and then looks at me the way only Cami can.
“He loves you, chica?”
I answer by sobbing and nodding my head up and down.
“Oh honey, the question is do you love him?”
More sobbing, joined by a runny nose and a cold sweat covering my body as I choke out the words, “So much.”
I hear her gasp and then a smile spreads across her face and she pulls me into a hug.
“Why are you so upset? This is epic! I am so happy for you! Why aren’t you happy? And don’t tell me it’s because you don’t do relationships. Is it because of . . . well . . . you know?”
“Cami, I can’t be with him. He would hate me if he knew and he wouldn’t want anything to do with me. I’m damaged goods, Cam. I don’t do relationships. He deserves so much better than what I have to offer him and honestly I don’t think I can handle being with him and worrying about him every day while he is overseas. I know that it’s selfish, but I don’t think I can take much more.”
“Well, I have to agree with you, Em . . .”
Oh thank God she’s going to have my back and support me on this.
“ . . . You are being selfish and that just isn’t you. You are the kindest, most giving person I know and you finally meet a guy that cares about you and you are going to push him aside without even giving him a chance. The Emily Grace that I know wouldn’t do that. Tell him. Take a chance and tell him and he may just surprise you.”
Feeling a bit pissy that she really doesn’t have my back and would push me to do something she knows goes against everything I am, I bite back, “I’m not telling him Cami and neither are you! I know the two of you like to text without me knowing, but I swear you’d better keep your mouth shut! And as soon as Monday comes and we are on our way home you will delete his information from your phone. It has to be a clean break.” I have never talked to Cami like this, but I don’t know how else to make my point clear. I am not telling him!
There’s a knock on the door and a female voice on the other side says, “Hey, anybody in there?”
“One sec.” Cami says. Her eyes never leaving mine. “Why are you doing this to yourself? I just don’t understand. Not every man is your dad or even Harrison for that matter, Em. Give him a chance to prove that to you.”
Not answering her, I turn and look at my face in the mirror and say, “Shit, I can’t go back out there like this.”
“You can ignore me all you want, chica, but I’m the one that is going to have to live with you after you say goodbye. Em, I don’t want you to have any regrets. We don’t do regrets, remember?”
As she speaks, she takes care of me like she always does. She lifts the hair off my neck and presses a cool towel to it. She knows this calms me when I’m worked up.
I find her reflection in the mirror.
“Thank you.”
“Em, you won’t be thanking me when I tell you I told you so down the line. When you’re surrounded by tubs of ice cream and bawling your eyes out. You know I want what’s best for you, right?”
Splashing water on my face, I slur. “I know.”
The tears have finally stopped and of course Cami has make-up to touch me up. I still look horrible but a little more presentable.
“Come on, I’m sure that J is wondering where you are,” Cami says, using the guys nickname for Jonathan.
Cami unlocks the door and I pause a moment before passing through.
“Hey Cami? I hope you don’t mind, but if Jonathan is cool with it I think I want to take off and get out of here. I have a lot to process and I really don’t want to be in a loud bar right now.”
“Of course, I understand. Don’t even sweat it. I’ll see you on Monday. Now go get your man. I actually need the facilities so go on without me.” She hugs me and says, “Love you, chica.”
“Love you too, Cam.”
As I enter the hallway, I see the person who must have been knocking on the door and tell her I am sorry for the wait. She says it was no problem and that from the looks of it I needed a moment. Great! I look so bad a stranger can tell there’s something wrong with me. I know she didn’t mean it that way but I still take the hint.
