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You are such a coward!
I ignore the taunting voice in my head and burst out of the building, scrambling down the stairs and heading for my next class.
It’s not for another hour or so, but I can find a bench and study or something.
Or you could stop being such a chicken and head to the athlete’s hall.
I’m probably not allowed in there, but there’s bound be someone coming or going from the building. They could get Ben for me, tell him to meet me outside so I can end his carefree life with a few short sentences.
Gritting my teeth, I veer left and amble my way to the sporting side of the school. The closer I get, the more tall, muscly athletic people I pass. Girls with high ponytails and fit-looking bodies. Guys who tower over me, their broad frames looking like brick walls as they wander past. I start playing a game and trying to guess which sports they play. The basketball guys are easy to spot, and I scan for Ben, relieved every time I don’t see him.
I’m kind of hoping to not see anyone I know.
My steps slow even more when the thought that I might bump into Casey hits me.
Shit. He has lunch in the athlete’s hall sometimes. I must be out of my fucking mind coming over to this side of the school.
Abort mission! This can be done another day.
I’m one second away from turning around when I stutter to a stop and fight the urge to pass out, because holy shit, there he is.
Casey Pierce with his messy hair and tattoos and perfect nose and smile.
I haven’t seen him in a week, and he’s still gorgeous. My heart seems to leap and split at the same time. I can’t move as I watch him talking to a couple girls with high ponytails and perfect asses and a guy with a big, dopey grin.
Casey says something that makes them all laugh, and that ache inside me blooms with an intensity I can’t handle. I love how funny he is. I’ve always loved that about him.
Spinning around, I figure waiting for Ben outside the law building is a much better idea… or just delaying this entire thing until tomorrow.
But then I hear my name.
“Caroline!”
Oh shit, Casey saw me.
I pick up my pace, wondering if I should break into a run.
“Caroline!” he calls again. “Wait up!”
My traitorous feet slow to a stop just before his fingers curl around my arm. He slowly spins me to face him, and I keep my eyes on his tattooed forearm.
“Hey.” His voice is soft, the total opposite of the harsh growl he left me with last week. “What are doing here?”
“I’m, uh…” I cringe. “I’m looking for Ben.”
“Oh.” He lets me go, takes a step back. I stare at his scuffed Converse, so dirty and beat-up, the laces fraying at the ends. I love how mussed-up and disheveled he always is. There’s something so carefree about him that speaks to my soul.
Glancing at his face, I drink in his short whiskers and wayward hair. He must have washed it this morning or last night. It has a fluffy, shiny look about it.
And then I get to his eyes. They’re gazing at me with this wounded sadness that breaks my heart.
I’m desperate to apologize, but instead I say, “I… I know you want me to do this paternity test thing, so I’m just trying to… get that done. I’m sorry I haven’t gotten onto it already. I’ve just…” I let out a pitiful laugh. “I really don’t want to. I know that doesn’t matter, but it makes it easier to procrastinate, you know?”
His forehead wrinkles. “Why didn’t you just come to me? If it’s negative, then you can tell him about the baby.”
I work my jaw to the side, my voice failing me for a second. After a thick swallow, I manage to say, “I didn’t think you’d want to see me again unless you knew you were the father.” I shake my head, too ashamed to look at his face anymore. “And even then, I mean, you might never… want to see me again.” My voice disappears, making my last few words basically inaudible.
Casey’s still looking at me; I can feel his gaze like he’s drinking me in or something. But I have no idea how he’s feeling. Is he mad I said that? Or relieved? Is he about to go, “You’re right,” then spin on his heel and walk away?
