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He wants this so bad. I’m scared of disappointing him if I’m not. I take his hand and pull him away from the test so that he can look at me and not the test. “I’m probably not pregnant.”
He nods. “I know, but it’s fun - the unknown and waiting.”
“You’re right.”
I am excited at the prospect that I could be. I want to be but it’s scary to think that maybe I’m not able to even have children. I know some women aren’t fertile and I know it’s devastating.
But being a mother is more than me being pregnant; some babies are motherless and if I had someone take me in when I was in foster care, I feel like my life would have been so much better and easier.
I wouldn’t have struggled to even believe that I deserved to have better for myself. To be treated better.
Terror has changed the way I view myself. I never realized how much I truly doubted myself, how I treated myself.
I learned to be kind and give myself grace. Terror loves me in a way that it’s impossible to not love myself. After five minutes pass, I’m almost scared to look at the test.
But I reach over and look at it.
At first, I don’t see a thing. Then, I see two very light pink lines. “Terror, either I’m seeing things or are there two lines?”
He takes the test from me, eyeing it and putting it under the light to get a better view. “Holy shit, there is!” he says loudly.
“We need to make sure. Let me take you to Knight.” He lifts me once again forgetting that I can actually walk.
“Terror, I don’t think this is life or death,” I joke when he sets me in the passenger seat and spins his tire out of the parking lot toward the clubhouse where Knight’s office is.
He is going way too fast and slams on the brakes in front of the clubhouse. I try not to laugh at how the seatbelt catches me from flying into the windshield.
I know it takes just one time to get pregnant, but this doesn’t happen this fast, does it?
Before I can tell him to calm down once again, he is running around the front of the truck and Reaper runs out of the clubhouse. “What the fuck happened? Is she okay?” he asks and then Gage follows him out with a gun in his hand.
I groan in embarrassment, but Terror rips open my door like I’m bleeding to death and Reaper looks at me confused and back to Terror. “I think she might be pregnant.”
Both of their mouths drop, and Gage laughs loudly. “Holy shit, I thought you guys were missing a limb or some shit.”
He glares at Gage. “This is serious! She might be carrying a baby right now.” I swear he sounds like he is on the verge of panicking.
“Terror, it could be a false positive. Let's just breathe,” I try to calm him, but it goes right over his head.
“We need to make sure.”
He slides me out of the seat and holds me to his chest. The guys open the door for me so he will have an easier way of carrying me in.
“You know, just because I’m possibly pregnant doesn’t mean that I can’t walk,” I point out and he shakes his head. “I’m not taking the chance of you falling.”
I sigh and rub my forehead with the back of my fingers. Reaper holds open the door to Knight’s office. I recognize it from the first time I was here because of the burn.
Knight jumps up from his desk and Daniella runs over. “What happened?” she asks panicked, and I groan because this just keeps getting worse.
Terror sets me down on the table running his hands down my legs. “She had a positive pregnancy test.”
Daniella bursts into loud laughter, holding her stomach. “Oh my God, Terror! I can’t imagine how you will act if she goes into labor.”
Everyone starts laughing, joining in, but Terror is not fazed at all. His eyes just wander over my body to make sure I’m okay.
Knight turns into doctor mode. “We will do a blood test and that will make sure if you are or not.”
I lift the arm of my sweatshirt so he can take my blood. “Wait, this won’t hurt her, will it?”
