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“I’m sorry,” he says. “I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions.”
“Why did you?”
He sighs and shrugs.
“Not my first rodeo with a married dude. At some point you start seeing ghosts around every corner, I guess.”
I go and sit back down on the couch.
“Tell me,” I say.
His eyes fly to mine.
“You’re not going to get the hell out of here to find normal people to hang out with?”
“Do you want me to?”
He shakes his head mutely.
“Do you want some coffee?” he asks after a second.
“So much.”
A small smile appears on his lips.
“Coming right up.”
He hurries into the kitchen, and I stay put. I have a feeling August needs a moment. He’s back in a few minutes with two mugs. He hands me one and clutches his own in his hands, looking uncertain.
“Staring up at you like this is making me dizzy,” I say. He sits down. For a few moments, we drink our coffee in silence.
“There was this guy in college,” August says, breaking the silence. “Devin. He played football, so he said he couldn’t come out of the closet. That it’d ruin his career. I didn’t mind. I mean, everyone should do those things on their own terms and at their own pace. What I did mind at the end was the four other boyfriends. Turns out he was in the closet mostly because it made it really easy to sneak around. I found him fucking one of them in his dorm room.”
“I’m sorry that happened to you.”
He shrugs.
“Yeah, well. I did tread lightly for a while after that. Until Oliver.”
“I’ve always hated that name,” I say.
August snorts.
“I’m not a fan, either. I liked him, though. I even thought I was in love with him. His job required a lot of traveling, so we weren’t in each other’s pockets all the time. He seemed too good to be true. Very charismatic. Very smart. Very handsome. Very married.”
I wince.
“Yeah,” August says. “I thought I was over it, but I guess doubts are trickier to kill than I thought. But I really am sorry you had to deal with this. I just… I saw you with Madeline, and my brain just went, ‘Of course. Married again. You sure know how to pick ’em, August.’ And I didn’t even question it, just jumped to conclusions. Sorry.”
“You already said that.”
“It bears repeating.”
Silence falls again before August glances at me.
“For what it’s worth, you made the subway rides the best part of my day.”
“That’s good,” I say.
