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I tried, again, to hide my burgeoning anger. “What were you doing with those three ragamuffins?”
“Gambling in the alley.”
My needle slipped and stabbed into the meat of my palm, drawing a bead of blood. At the same time, I barked a laugh, startling poor Robin. She looked frightened, like she might have said something wrong.
“You surprise me more and more with every word that comes out of your mouth, little heathen.”
The demure smile returned to her struck face. “Oh. I guess that’s a good thing?”
“Aye. It surely is.”
Another hour passed. We had a fine stack of clothes to gift to the almshouse. Not all the fabric would go to the orphanage, of course—the Merry Men needed to sell the silk and the pricier items in order to survive. But contraband was a tough sell, and people would recognize garments made by the Queen of the Lace Market, sure as anything. Those pieces needed to be redesigned as well.
Near the end of the afternoon, Robin asked, “Why do you do this, Friar Tuck?”
I glanced at her from under the ridge of my brow. I knew what she was asking, but I played dumb. “The almshouse won’t function on its own, lass. We’ve been hard-pressed for funding lately. With the exorbitant taxes levied by the Sheriff of Nottingham on behalf of Prince John, people are keeping their coins tightly guarded. Donations are rare these days.”
She nodded along, studying my face and putting down the needle. “That’s all well and good, sir . . . but you know that’s not what I’m talking about.”
“Aye. I know.”
A shame I didn’t have anymore garments to work on to occupy myself. Her intense scrutinizing made me uncomfortable. My hands were beginning to tremble from lack of drink. It made this tedious work difficult.
“You don’t seem as awful as the other men here,” she said softly. “Even kind, perhaps.”
I scoffed and shook my head. “I’m just as bad, girl. Twice as much, because I come from a place of servitude and righteousness. The holy fall the worst, Robin. Sure and true. My soul is damned, but I’ve learned to live with that fact.”
“That’s quite dramatic, Father.”
“If you were truly listening through that window, you’d know not to call me that.”
“Apologies.” She bowed her head.
I could tell she wouldn’t let it go. I sighed and sat back, putting my palms on my knees. “If it means feeding, clothing, and housing another poor soul, then my miserable life being doomed to damnation is worth it. Understand?”
“Yes, and that’s exactly what I mean. Are you . . . atoning for your sins? Is that it?”
I thought about that for a moment. Then I gave her a stern shake of my head. “No. I’m exacting revenge upon those who would smite the poor.”
Her eyes widened. Then a mischievous look overcame her. “More vengeful than a holy man,” she repeated.
I inclined my chin. “. . . And that’s saying something,” I finished.
“But you do still believe? Because those are some of the harshest words I’ve ever heard from a man of the cloth.”
“Of course I do. If I don’t have faith in a grander design than this cesspool of a world, what do I have to look forward to?” I laughed at my words—dramatic, as Robin had put it. “Just because men stripped me of my holy investiture does not mean the Almighty has forgotten me. His sinful child. I have not abandoned my faith—just the men who pretend to orchestrate it. I still teach Scripture to the whelps at the poorhouse.”
“There you go, proving me right again.”
There was a fondness in her eyes as she stared at me. It was something I hadn’t seen in ages, and it kept me talking. “Besides, I’ve always considered the church a means of swindling the masses. Even when I aided in that venture.”
“A tool of control,” she murmured, bowing her head as if deep in thought. I wondered if Maid Marian hadn’t espoused some words about control while they bathed together. I couldn’t put it past my favorite whore.
“Aye, lass.”
She paused for a moment, thinking, stroking her pointed chin. Then she looked up with an odd expression on her face. “Were you excommunicated solely because of your . . . fleshly desires?”
I snorted a laugh. She wanted to know if the drinking, whoring, and gambling was enough to get me ousted from the church?
