AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“No.”
“He will Callum! Whether it's to tie up loose ends or just for revenge, he’ll be back for me! He’s not letting me go free, especially after tonight.”
“No, I mean, Cole didn't kill our dad,” I confess.
“What? You told me he did.”
“I told you he went to prison for his murder. I never said he did it.” I pause and look at her. “I killed our dad. The same way I just killed that guy out there, the same way I almost killed Cole. One day when Dad was giving Cole and I a pretty brutal beating I just snapped. Cole took the fall for me. He sacrificed his life and freedom for me. I should have been the one who went to prison. It's my fault. Everything, all of this is my fucking fault.”
“Oh my God. That’s what he’s been holding over your head? That's what you think you owed him for?” she asks.
I just simply nod. Lana reaches up and grabs my hand and through my broken pieces, it all pours out…
“I'm sorry. I’m so fucking sorry for all this, Lana. I'm sorry it took me so long to stop this. I didn't want to lose the only family I had left. I was selfish, I was scared. I fucked up. Really fucked up and I don't deserve your forgiveness but just know how sorry I am.” A tear finally breaks loose and falls from my eye. I stopped crying when I was still a child. When our tears would only further anger our father. So I stopped. Until now. “Tonight though, tonight I thought I was going to lose you and I couldn’t bear it. I didn't know you were something I needed. You're in my veins like a drug, little dove. All I see is you. Everything makes me think of you. It’s all you, this whole damn time. You are all consuming. Maybe you see me as a monster now after what I did out there and maybe you're just as afraid as I am about these feelings I have for you, but I don't know what to do with them except tell you. It’s clearly the worst timing, but I'm tired of holding them back. I want to call you mine. I love you, Lana.”
Lana
Tears are streaming down my face again, but not from the aches I still feel all over my body. Callum just cracked his heart open and poured his love on me. He loves me. I’ve been so conflicted with my feelings for him. Scared to even really acknowledge what was growing between us in this hell. But now, after tonight and with the way he’s staring into my soul with such love and affection, even while I look a swollen, bloody mess, it’s all so clear. I don’t care if it makes me all sorts of fucked up. I fell in love with one of the men who abducted me. I am irrevocably in love with Callum. I don't know when exactly it happened or if it was just slowly over time with the little moments we shared, but I know we can leave this place and nothing would change what I feel for him.
“Callum, I… I’m not sure where to even start.”
“It's okay, you don't need to say anything. I just wanted you to finally know without any doubts, how I feel about you,” he says lightly touching my cheek.
I shake my head and look down at our hands then back up to him, “You forced your way into my life. Like an earthquake, disrupting my comfortable world, yet also awakening something deep inside me. Something I never thought I'd feel until you. I thought I needed you to protect me, to help me escape but you gave me something much more and what I least expected in this place. You gave me love. I felt it and it frightened me. The times I imagined escaping and leaving here, there was one thought that was unbearable to think about and that was leaving you. Never seeing you again. Never seeing your eyes and smile lighting up my dark days. It hurt to think about it and it was all so confusing under these circumstances, but I'm not confused anymore. I don't care what these hands have done to cruel men, I've only ever known these hands to be gentle and kind. You are no monster. I see you, and I'm in love with all your broken parts Callum. I'm in love with the chaos and beauty of your heart.”
Callum’s eyes never leave mine as the words flow out of me. I finish and he lets go of my hand and stands. Then he’s suddenly getting in the tub with me, still in his sweatpants.
“Oh my God, what are you doing!” I laugh out in surprise. He sits, water splashing over the edge and pulls me onto his lap and wraps his arms around me. I rest my head against him as he holds me tightly.
“I'm not sure I deserve your love, but I will spend the rest of my life giving you the love you truly deserve,” he whispers into my ear.
I'm melting or I'm on fire, it's hard to tell but I smile and settle deeper into him. We stay like that wrapped together in the bath until the water grows cold.
Callum gets out of the tub first then helps me out with a firm hand and wraps a towel around me.
“Why don't you go pick out something to wear from my drawers and throw me some new clothes too. I gotta get out of these wet pants,” he says.
I've seen most of Callum's body already. Mostly it's been his upper half during the times he wasn't wearing a shirt. I tried not to take note of his tight chest, the ridges of his abs and the deep v of his hips leading down into his pants, but there were times I couldn't help but notice how perfectly he was molded even with his scars. There was also that time Cole tried threatening Callum into forcing himself on me. I didn't get much of a look at what he held in his hand that night. The situation was too humiliating for the both of us that I avoided really looking and he didn't keep himself out very long. But now, Callum was suggesting I leave the bathroom to let him change, which I assume he might be worried about making me uncomfortable if he suddenly were to get naked in front of me.
Considering how the night has gone, it’s probably a good idea.
I walk back into his room and pick him out a dark brown flannel, jeans, boxers and socks and I toss them into the bathroom. Then I find a black long sleeve thermal and another pair of boxers as well as socks for myself. I slip those on and sit on his bed.
Callum walks out of the bathroom all dressed and half smiles when he sees me. He walks over to me, leans down and kisses my forehead. The gesture sends butterflies into my stomach.
“I want you to stay in here until I come back. You're no longer a prisoner, but I don't want you back out there until I… clean things up. Okay?”
“Okay,” I agree and nod.
Callum shuts his bedroom door behind him when he leaves and I lay back on his bed. I feel so drained and incredibly sore. Maybe I'll close my eyes for a bit.
Chapter 17
Callum
I stand in the living room, the coppery scent of blood flooding my senses. Fuck, there’s so much of it. I stare down at Ray and once again take in the damage I've done with these hands. Even though Lana said she doesn't see me as a monster, I can't help but still feel like one as I look at the gruesome scene in front of me.
Cole is fucked up and has darkness in him, but I’ve always had a deep rage in me. Over my whole life I’ve gotten better and better at suppressing it, controlling it. Before Ray, the last time I lost it like this was when I was eighteen. When I ended our father’s abuse and tyranny with nothing but these hands. Over the years I’ve had moments of anger but nothing like this. These past months though with Lana have tested me the most. My rage was building and wanting so desperately to break free with every suffering moment Lana had to endure. I don’t regret killing Ray or what I did to Cole. I would do it all over again. For her. I just wish she didn't have to see me like that.
