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“I’d better not.” She pops an eyebrow upward.
“Um. Alright.” It’s clear I shouldn’t press the issue.
This is why I don’t mix business and pleasure. The lines get blurred.
I wasn’t able to help myself with Sonia. And I don’t think I’m going to be able to help myself any time soon.
I keep my voice low. “You left. Why?”
Sonia glances over her shoulder before taking another step into my office. “I’m sorry. I had to make it home before work, and I’m all the way up in Queens, I–”
“I’m your employer. I would have had you call off.”
She tightens her lips, shrinking them back to a mere line. “That wouldn’t be very professional of us, would it?”
“We left professionalism behind a while ago.” I rise to my feet.
Sonia’s body is rigid. She’s afraid of me. “I need this job, Edwin.”
I frown. “No one is threatening to take it from you.”
“Not yet.”
Something else is going on, and I’m determined to find out what. I’ll wait.
I’m a stranger to waiting to get what I want, but for Sonia, I will wait forever if need be.
“Last night…” I called her up here with the intention of saying something very specific, a monologue I crafted throughout the morning from the time I woke up to moment she walked into my office.
I should have written it down, though, because my face is hot, and I’m flustered, more so than I’ve ever been.
“Was wonderful.” She smiles. But it’s a sad smile. “But I work for you. And–”
“I don’t care about that.”
“It’s not just that, it’s ”
“Listen to me, Sonia.” I step out from behind the desk, feeling naked and so vulnerable. But I have to follow through. I have to.
My Swan.
“From the outside, I have everything a person could want. But I am a man with nothing.”
Sonia’s face slackens. “Edwin…”
I clutch my heart. “Listen to me, just listen.”
She nods.
“I have been a terrible lover. And a terrible father. All I have is a business that doesn’t really love me back. Not the way a person could.”
Sonia’s eyes crinkle. Lips lift.
“I know there is so much we would have to learn about each other. And so much we would have to overcome. But please give me one chance to show you how good of a man I know I can be for you.”
These feelings have been burning up in my chest since the moment I met her.
I’ve wanted to become a better version of myself for too long now. I will never do that if I close myself off from love. Even if she works for me.
