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“Well, that was…direct,” I said more to myself than to him, but he agreed quickly.
“Sure was.”
“Get down here and let’s talk a minute. If for no other reason than to make those two happy.”
“Alright,” he said with a little laugh, then dismounted the horse and tied his reins to the fence. “I gotta ride him still.”
“We won’t be long, I don’t think.”
Confronted that way, I wasn’t at all sure how to proceed. I was the Top, though, so if I was going to control anything, I had to start with myself. My nerves were rattled, so I had to get them under my fist first, then the rest would hopefully come easier.
We went next to the back of the barn where there was a nice shade from the still-warming sun. The day was new, and I was up much earlier than usual. The little fucker and that meeting with him had me tossing and turning until I gave up and got up to drink half of Damon’s pot of coffee.
That likely didn’t help my nerves.
There were a couple bales of hay there and we used them to sit, him across from me with that hat over his eyes. The first thing I did was to touch the brim gently, moving it back so I could better see him. “There.”
“What ya do that for?”
“You like hiding under it too much. I like looking a man in the eye. That’s all.”
He nodded but fidgeted some on the hay. “So, what you got to say?”
“I didn’t have a speech prepared or anything. I just wanted to talk to you, I guess. We’ve been…dancing around a little bit, me, Damon and you, since we started coming to visit Noah and Eli.”
“Dancin’?”
“Yeah. I’d flirt with you, but I’m afraid you’ll run off. If I’m way off in you possibly liking us a little, let me know.”
I got a shrug of his shoulder, and he looked off to the corral, but it was a bit before he spoke. “I ain’t used to doin’ thin’s this-a-ways all. I find guys at the rodeo, usually. They ain’t like you, though.”
“Oh? You don’t really know me, so how am I different?”
Again, he stared off and said, “You’re jus’ differ’nt. You ain’t a cowboy, that’s one.”
“No. I’m definitely not a cowboy,” I said, wanting to laugh, but the moment felt too serious to show humor at all.
“I’m used to cowboys. Or, you know, guys like me, on those apps on my phone.”
The apps. Those had killed a lot of fun in clubs since their inceptions. “Apps, huh? Well, I’m not on any apps.”
“No, sir, you got a man. Why you lookin’ for ‘nother?”
His eyes finally met mine and I was blown away at the directness of the act. For the first time since I’d met him months before, he didn’t shy away from me or use the rodeo to distract himself from the intimacy of the two of us conversing.
Joel had eyes that were unlike any I’d seen. The green was darker than most, but they shined, like a light was being held behind them. They were in stark contrast to his dark hair and goatee, and his soft skin that looked as though he’d never spent a day in the sun, let alone his whole life there.
His cheeks were sunken, like he was much thinner than he was, but it wasn’t that he was overly skinny, no. He just had amazing cheekbones that were sharp and clear under his beautiful eyes. His nose was rather small but fit his face well. Besides Damon, I don’t know that I’d ever been so attracted to any man.
“You think all couples are monogamous?”
Another little shrug of that shoulder and it brought up his arm enough that the shirt tightened on his small but hard bicep. “No, sir. I don’t believe that, but you and Eli, you’re friends an’ all. Thought you were like him an’ Noah.”
“No. We’re not. Damon and I…we have been open since we got together. We’re…very similar in things we like to do sexually. That makes us incompatible to be monogamous, even if we wanted to be, which we don’t. We love one another very much and know that sex with other men won’t hurt that in any way. Besides, we…”
“You want me to fool ‘round with?”
That was direct too. Eli was likely right. Joel got to know someone, and his true self came out. “No. Not exactly. I mean, we’d love to…do that. But what we’re ultimately looking for is more than that. I’m not saying we’re asking you for either. We’d have to know each other a lot better. I’m just saying we’re interested in getting to know you.”
