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The only acknowledgment I got was a quick perusal from the ladies checking me out, but Jenna’s mom didn’t stop telling whatever stupid story she was spewing. What a fucking bitch.
I pulled Jenna back and then marched us through the guests until we were walking down the hall into an empty side room I’d noticed earlier. I guided her inside before I let her go and closed the door, leaning against it so she couldn’t make up some bullshit excuse to escape.
She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at the floor. “What did you need?”
I hated how empty her voice sounded. Jenna was warmth and peace and happiness. This wasn’tmyJenna, and I needed my Jenna back. I could feel the cold seeping into my veins, and I couldn’t be strong for us both if I let that cold infiltrate any further.
I stepped closer but stopped when she took a step back. I clenched my jaw and asked the question I already knew the answer to. “What’s going on?”
She kept her head dipped, and I wondered if she was going to ignore the question, but then she looked up at me and there was so much fire and hurt in her gaze, it almost made me take a step back.
“What’s going on? Well, let’s see. My ungrateful mother has done nothing but complain the entire night about everything Ididn’tdo instead of acknowledging all the work I did for her stupid reception. To top that off, your dad is being a giant dick to anyone who isn’t his friend.”
I had missed that last one, so I made a mental note to pull my dad aside and get him in line. But I knew that was only the tip of the iceberg.
“And us?” I prompted.
Her arms dropped to her sides and her shoulders slouched as her gaze traced my face like this was the last time she was going to see me and she wanted to remember it. I knew that look.
“There is no us, Connor.”
The cold I’d been holding back swept over me so swiftly it was hard to breathe.
No, no, no. She couldn’t be doing this now. I needed more time.
“We should’ve never hooked up, but whatever it was, it’s over now. I don’t want to see you after this reception,” she said, her tone final.
No.
The word was right there on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn’t get it out of my mouth. My body was frozen, my heart clenching so painfully tight it felt like she was ripping it out of me.
She swiped a tear from her eye and then she was moving, darting past my body where I’d left a gap behind me and sneaking out the door.
No. This wasn’t how we ended. We weren’t supposed to end at all. She could be mad at me and tell me I needed to tell her everything about my past, but she wasn’t supposed to just give up and walk away. How could she just walk away? Didn’t she feel the connection between us? It was deeper than anything I’d ever felt and it wasn’t just sex.
It was the quiet moments when we held each other before sleep took us. It was making dinner together and laughing or dancing in the kitchen while we waited for it to finish cooking. It was playing card games in our underwear. It was me holding her while she cried and opened up to me.
I knew I’d made a mistake not telling her about my leaving the army when she asked. But I’d had no idea it had been a fatal error. And fatal was the only way to describe it because standing here without her and knowing she was certain it needed to be over felt like dying.
I walked back out to the reception on autopilot, but my gaze was focused on one person only—Jenna. I tucked my hand in my pocket and felt the thick cardstock between my fingers. I needed time to regroup—to figure out how the hell to fix this, because there had to be a way.
I couldn’t lose her. But I knew better than to push it today—here—when she was already feeling weak and hurt by her mom.
So instead, I found her by the caterer and pulled out the card and handed it to her. She looked at me before looking down at the business card.
With her brow furrowed, she asked, “What’s this?”
“It’s the name of a vet I reached out to. He’s looking for an intern for the rest of the summer and said you sounded perfect. All you have to do is call him to set it up.”
She stared down at the card and then up at me, her gorgeous hazel eyes filled with confusion, hurt, and something that could only be described as longing.
I needed to leave, or I was going to get on my knees right here and beg her not to give up on me. That I could try to open up and tell her everything I’d kept buried deep down.
But there was one more thing I had to say to her before I left. One more truth I needed her to believe. I stepped into her space and dipped my head until my mouth was right by her ear. “You are good enough. Always. Please don’t ever doubt that.” My voice cracked at the end, and I knew I was perilously close to breaking in front of her.
I spun around and walked away from the only woman I’d ever loved, leaving my heart in her hands.
DON’T ROCK THE BOAT
