AllFreeNovel
Share Us
My counselor watches me, and I hold his stare. I have no idea how my family is going to react to me coming home. He tells me they’re going to be supportive and can’t wait to see me, but I haven’t spoken to any of them since the day I left.
I can imagine they’ve moved on without me, that they’ve seen how much easier life is without me there fucking it up.
“I don’t think you’re ready. I think you’re afraid of what you’ll find on the other side of those doors.”
“Great. Kick me when I’m down, doc.”
He chuckles. “You’re right to be afraid. You’ve made big changes inside this place and it can be scary wondering how everyone will accept the new you. But I know you’re going to make it. I’ve spoken to your family. One on one, we’ve had phone calls and there is a ton of love waiting for you, Bill. A ton of support and they just want you back home.”
My palms itch and I rub them along the tops of my thighs. I know I feel better, but it’s easy to feel good in here when there’s no outside forces pulling me in the wrong direction. It’s safe in here. What will happen when I go home to the same old environment is the real question.
“You have to let them help you. They’re going to hover and follow you around?—”
“That’s normal with my family,” I interrupt.
He smiles as he replies, “I know. You’ve mentioned this many times, but I’m telling you they’re going to do it more now, and you have to let them. They’re afraid, too, and everyone is going to have to adjust to having you back home again.”
It’s only been ninety days, but I can imagine what I’ve missed. Life moves fast for us Casanovas and I guess now I have to learn how to keep up and go with the flow of it all. Standing, I shake hands with mycounselor and head back to my room. Taking out my journal, I skim over the pages that I’ve raged on and cried on these past few weeks.
Being here has cleared the fog and has brought back memories I thought were lost forever.
There’s one name in this journal that continues on repeat.
Adley.
She’s the one who saved me. It was her face I saw the night of the accident. The one I kept envisioning. The one I kept reaching for, that kept me from letting it all go. She saved me that night and she’s saved me every night that I’ve been here.
These past ninety days have me seeing clearly for the first time in a long time.
And I know now, with one hundred percent certainty, it’s her I’ve been yearning for. My mind may have forgotten, but my heart didn’t.
I had the best night of my life, and I couldn’t remember. All I had was a feeling and a necklace, and that gold chain with the book charm carried me through, not realizing at the time that I was holding onto a piece of the girl who was too good for me, but one I hoped I’d eventually be good enough for.
Being here has given me time. I read the book I took from my mom’s kitchen table, and it turns out, it was one of Adley’s. Her words are gold, and I find they’re a way for me to see what she really wants deep down. I’d like to prove I can be as suave and sweet as those guys she writes. But I also know it’s just not me.
That book struck me and it makes me wonder if maybe Iamthe type she wants because the main character was a complete fuck up, and it ended on a ‘to be continued’ which means we don’t know how the story ends.
Just like our story.
There’s been no follow-up story yet, and I’m hoping I get a chance to write it with her.
All I know is I‘m going crazy without her, but after the accident, I can assume she wouldn’t want me. Arrests and now rehab?
Yeah. What a catch.
I’ve hit rock bottom and now there’s nowhere to go but up. With hard work and the right woman, I can get there.
For me.
For her.
I know I can. Ihaveto.
I’ll redeem everything lost and become good enough for a second chance.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
BILLY
