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‘I know. He’s disgusting. But I didn’t know what to do. I know you think youwillknow what to do in that moment, when it actuallyhappensto you, but .?.?. anyway, then you broke up. And I was like,thank fuck. Because you never had to know. I never had to hurt you.’
‘But it wasn’t you, Alexis,’ I say. ‘It was him.’
‘I know. But I’m your friend. It’s up to me to protect you from horrible things. Not deliver them to you.’
I dab my eyes with tissue, as music floats from Ralph’s little speaker. Gentle piano music this time.
Owen the villain. Sometimes there are heroes and villains and he is just one, isn’t he? Always was. Acovertvillain. The worst kind. The kind that suck you in, all sleight of hand. But then – there are the overt heroes. The gentle, kind, oblivious heroes, like Ralph, who hands out our drinks, who places cake on little plates for us, who puts my dodgy meringues in the oven.
‘Well, you don’t need to present perfect to me,’ says Cate. ‘And I mean this to, well, everyone in this room. You can be flawed, you can be a bitch, and show me all your ugly bits—’
Alexis laughs. A reluctant, oh-go-on-then Alexis laugh.
‘And I will still love you.’
‘Same,’ I say.
Alexis nods. ‘Andsame,’ she says tearfully. ‘Although I don’t think a living soul has ever seen my ugly bits. Not really. My ugly bits even have secret ugly bits. You want those too, Cate?’
‘Erm. Could I possibly show you something?’ Ralph interjects. ‘I’ve been working on it for a few weeks.’
‘The fungus jumper? Did you start?’ I ask. ‘Oh, Ralph found a fungus jumper knitting pattern he wanted me to take a shot at,’ I tell Alexis. ‘Sorry, Ralph, it’s just – we were talking about ugly bits. And, well, that jumper .?.?. no offence.’
Ralph smiles and shakes his head. ‘No. I mean, none taken, but, no, this is even cooler.’ Ralph grabs his laptop from the counter, taps away on the keys. ‘Here. Take a look.’
And when he slides the laptop across to me, I’m greeted with a baby blue screen. ‘OneNewMessage.com,’ I read. ‘What .?.?. is this?’
‘I created it. A website. Sort of .?.?. inspired by Alexis’s TikTok.’
‘Oh, yeah.’ Alexis grimaces, the downward tug of a lip. ‘I’m sorry about that, Mill. But, I mean, you did go viral. So, you’re welcome, I guess?’ She laughs and then pauses. ‘Except, you probably didn’t want to go viral on top of everything—’
‘What?’ I sit up, and laughter bursts out of me. ‘I went viral?’
Alexis goes wide eyed. ‘Er, totally! People started sharing emails they wish they could send. They took sides. And .?.?. well, most people sided with you. Which, well, it handed my arse to me, really. The internetdoes nothold back.’ She laughs, then gives a shake of her head. ‘Anyway. Sorry, Ron. Do go on. I never shut up.’
‘Ralph,’ says Ralph. ‘But Ron. Ralph. Don’t worry about it. It’s all swings and roundabouts really.’
And over Ralph’s head, Alexis mimes to Cate, ‘OK, I love him.’
‘So, yes.’ Ralph clears his throat. ‘People go here – so it’s got a sort of email interface, but it’s fake. And you pop who it’s to here, so, for example: my shitty ex-boyfriend Owen.’ He looks at me and smiles. ‘And thenfromMillie or Me or whatever you want to appear as. And then you type in what you really want to say.’
‘Fuck you, tosspot,’ says Alexis. ‘Just a suggestion. Happy for you to edit it a little.’
Ralph types it, smilingly. ‘And then you press send. And it appears .?.?. here. On a sort of online fake Outlook email programme that everyone in the world can view if they so wish.’
‘Oh my God.Ralph.’
‘Do you hate it? Sorry, it was just something I was playing with—’
‘No, Ilove it.’ A big, warming, cheek-stretching smile almost bursts my face. ‘I think it’s genius.’
‘Do you?’ Ralph beams. ‘It’s already had some entries. Someone shared it on Twitter and we’ve been getting lots of traffic. And, really, people are justinspired, Millie. They feel understood.Seen.Because everyone’s got them, right, things they wish they could say? And this will be a place people can come to say them. What they really want to say, but can’t. And perhaps question why they can’t.’ Ralph smiles gently.
‘Oh my God. I’m actually going to cry—’
Alexis and Cate envelop me in a hug.
‘Have you seen at the top of the page. See where it says, inspired by Millie Chandler,’ Ralph says gently.
