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There is a somber look on his face. His eyes seem to dodge looking at mine as he glances left and right uncertainly.
“You were shocked by what Karona said, too, weren't you?” I ask.
“Of course, I was,” he whispers. “I’m sorry I didn't get the job done, but I’m glad to see you safe otherwise.”
“Listen, I need you to deliver this to Carus.”
I push the letter into his hand. His eyes dart between the parchment paper and me as he stutters.
“Shana, I said I was sorry, but do not humiliate me by having me deliver this. I am no mailman.”
I grab his arm on the verge of tears. “Please!” I cry. “Don’t you have a code of honor to adhere to? Would you turn down a request from the Priestess of Painting?”
“There’s a first time for everything,” he remarks coldly.
“Eras, please! He needs to know of his unborn child.”
His mouth parts open, his gaze widening before glaring at the letter.
“You mean to tell me that Carus –”
“Is the father of my child, yes,” I blurt out, blinking away the tears. “Eras, I need you now more than ever.”
“Very well,” he states, his commanding demeanor returning to him in an instant. “I’ll see to it that Carus receives this.”
“Thank you, Eras,” I say. “You’re my only shot. I need to return to the temple as soon as possible, but please get it done today if you can!”
I pat his arm and make a swift exit, hastily hurrying back to the temple. By now, the others will be up, but they expect me to be in my painting studio. I just hope none of them have tried looking for me and that I can slip into my studio unnoticed.
At least I have the letter taken care of. That’s all that matters for now.
I remove my cloak as I enter, and as it comes off, I’m met by a circle of handmaidens, all of them seemingly expecting my arrival. My heart almost stops as a fresh wave of fear washes over me.
“Ladies.” I greet them with a smile. “I went out to look for some inspiration in nature. Is something the matter?”
“Priestess Shana, you need to come with us.”
23
CARUS
Ibrood in the dim light of my chambers. The rejection from Shana festers within me like a wound. Self-doubt and sorrow are my constant companions. I haven’t slept at all since returning like a pathetic fallen man.
She rejected me. Me. Her mate.
I don’t care what she says, it changes nothing. She can try to deny the mate bond all she wants, but in the end, she’s going to have to accept it. There’s no other choice for her in the matter.
Or perhaps the mating bond isn’t as strong for her as it is for me? Is that even possible? I didn’t see anything like this in the Great Archives, but I can’t rule out the possibility.
A one-sided bond. Just the thought of it pisses me off. Why couldn't it have been me not being so damn needy?
Better yet, why can’t the bond force the other to accept it? I can’t conceptualize how Shana rejected me as if I were nothing. She did it quickly as well, without a second thought to it.
A dull ache pulses inside me. I want to be with her again, but my ego refuses to let me entertain the thought. She rejected me. She doesn’t want me anymore. I risked my life for her, and this is the thanks I get?
I frown as I bury my hands in my hair. The turmoil inside me never leaves, and it just gets worse by the minute. I try to occupy myself with other things, but my mind just comes back to Shana.
Her breathtaking face. Her sunset eyes. Her smile that’ll make anyone fall in love, especially with her dimples. Not to mention her aura that emanates peace and happiness.
