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Chapter 13
Olivia
We did it again. Again.
And even after everything, talking with Becca and especially my Dad, I still want more of that incredible man. I’m the worst.
Guilt creeps across me as I tidy up the house a bit before leaving to get Elijah from school. I took a second morning-after pill this morning out of panic, and now I’m glad that I did.
When I reach Elijah’s school, I pull up in the line of cars out front. He’s his usual excited self as he exits the building and dashes to my car, and somehow it actually makes me feel better.
I love that kid, and I’m truly not looking to hurt him or his dad. This is just a bit of fun, right?
I have no time to think about it because Elijah fills the remainder of the afternoon before Noah gets home with new fish facts and a budding interest in National Geographic magazines. He even borrowed one from the library at school.
We go about our typical routine, with him chatting away as I cook dinner and I ensure he’s done his homework. Math and English are what he has today, and I’m really only there as backup because the kid aces all his questions.
“You’re so smart, bud!”
“Thanks, Liv.”
Noah comes in a little earlier than normal, and for the first time, we don’t have the chance to talk. He’s on the phone the entire time. Someone is literally screaming at him on the other end.
I try to ask if there’s anything I can do, but he shakes his head and goes into his office, closing the door. I leave his dinner in the microwave and put Elijah to bed on my own.
“Where’s Dad?” I can hear the disappointment in Elijah’s voice.
“I know you’re sad, buddy. I’m sorry. It sounds like someone from work is on the phone with him and they’re upset. We should try to be understanding for your dad. Okay?”
“Is he in trouble?”
Elijah starts to sit up, but I hold up my hand and tuck him back in.
“No, I don’t think he’s in trouble. Just stressed because he wants to do a good job, and I think that’s hard right now. Does that make sense?”
“Yeah. I get that. I’ll be super good. I could make breakfast?”
His eyes are wide as he tries to think of a way to help.
I smile, laughing gently. “That sounds like a great idea. And I know you’ll be extra helpful. I can help you with it in the morning. Okay?”
He nods as a yawn stretches his mouth wide.
“Goodnight, bud.”
“Night, Olivia.”
I turn off his light, the stars around his room swirling, and close the door behind me. Noah is still on the phone when I get downstairs. I can hear his raised voice through his closed office door.
With a sigh, I leave him a note about dinner and Thursday’s plans, reminding him about Elijah’s Little League game. The guy is working so hard right now, and I really hope he doesn’t miss it.
Elijah’s been talking about how his dad doesn’t come often, and I set a personal goal to be the one who changes that.
I gather my things, pulling out my car keys and taking one last look around the downstairs to be sure it’s tidied up. Then I go out the front door and head home.
While a part of me is sad we couldn’t find time to be together, the rest of me knows how bad an idea that is and how even if coupledom were an option, there are days like this in every relationship. It’s not sex all the time.
The drive back is smooth and uneventful, and the quiet of the car gives my brain the opportunity to churn endlessly about the rather precarious situation I’ve gotten myself into.
