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Cecil and I make our escape as I’m still fuming over Emmett’s audacity.
twelve
Emmett
“Earth to Emmett? Are you even listening to me?” Millie’s voice breaks through my trance.
Shaking the fog from my head, I try to catch up with the conversation. But I can’t for the life of me figure out what we were talking about. So, to be safe, I just nod in her direction and try to change the subject. Which is the only excuse I have for what comes out of my mouth next. “What about something from there?” I point at the nearest store but it’s not until after I see her jaw drop that I follow my finger with my eyes.
“You want to get our mother a birthday gift from Spencer’s?” she asks, barely holding her laugh in. And I understand why. Our mother is the most sensible and straightlaced person. I can’t imagine her reaction to opening one of the various gag gifts displayed in the store’s window.
“Um, no,” I say, my eyes finally landing on The Saving Grace two shops down. “How about this candle shop?”
This gets a nod from Millie and we both head toward that store. Cash would have been here with us, but he had booked a live band for the bar tonight and apparently needed to be in early to get the bar ready. I’m almost positive it was an excuse to avoid going shopping with us, but I didn’t call him on it. I’m only a little jealous that I didn’t think up an excuse first.
So, Millie and I had undertaken the task ourselves, and I’m ashamed to say that after years of sending gift cards in the mail, it’s harder than it should be to find things my mother might like.
Especially when she’s made it more than clear exactly what she wants every year for the last few years now. “You know, we could skip this whole trip if you and Todd would just make her a grandma already,” I say, only halfway joking. Because if they did, then maybe she would get off of my back about moving on. Yet another reason why I’ve avoided being home for long stretches over the years. My mother can’t seem to understand that I have no intention of ever marrying again.
Millie rolls her eyes at me and moves ahead of me into the shop. Following in behind her, it’s like walking into a brick wall as the conflicting scents surround us. It doesn’t smell bad, not exactly, but the overpowering smells have me taking deep breaths through my mouth as I look for a way to hurry this trip along.
“You know, mom would be just as happy to see you bringing a girl around again,” Millie’s voice is deceptively casual as she picks up a blue candle and sniffs, like the answer doesn’t matter. But I can see her watching me from the corner of her eyes.
I scoff, picking up a green candle to smell. The pine scent is stronger than I was expecting, and I jam the lid back on before answering. “That’s not going to happen.”
“Why not?” She’s facing me now, no longer pretending to inspect the collection of scented candles.
“Because I have no interest in loving anyone ever again.”
Her eyes soften as she watches me, the pity I’m used to seeing from everyone in this town shining through, but for some reason I don’t mind it from Millie. “You don’t want to find someone to share your life with?” I know what she’s getting at. Or rather, who. I saw the matchmaking gleam in her eye when she tricked Charley into having dinner with all of us.
And I have to admit Charley intrigues me. Something about her fun, easygoing personality seems to light up the world around her. And I’d be lying if I didn’t say that after so long living in the dark, I wasn’t tempted by her light, but I’ve been down that road before. I’m not willing to do it again. No matter how good she feels in my arms or that she’s made me smile more in the last few weeks than I have in years. I’ve had my share of casual flings over the years, but I know casual isn’t on the table with Charley so I’m not going to let myself go there. I can’t go there.
“I had someone to share it with. And to be honest, I don’t want to open myself up to that kind of pain ever again.” I clear my throat and move to a display of candles across the room stacked in the precarious shape of a pyramid. The pink candle I grab from the top row smells softly floral. A glance at the label says jasmine and freesia scented. “I think this one is perfect.” I don’t wait for her to agree. I move to the register and plop the candle down with less grace than I probably should have.
I’m ready to get out of here, but the cashier clearly isn’t picking up on my urgency. “Oh, good choice, sir. Did you know you can get the matching lotion for half off with this purchase today only?”
“Okay, sure,” I say, pulling my wallet out and waiting for the total.
“But we also have a BOGO sale on the body scrubs and bath bombs. I bet I could find a basket around here and we could put a little gift basket together for you.” She smiles wide and doesn’t wait for my answer before flitting away and coming back with a cellophane wrapped package that includes the entire scent collection to go along with my measly candle. Naming a price that’s substantially higher than I would have expected, she’s grabbing my card and swiping it for my purchase while I’m still trying to catch up.
“Thank you for your purchase,” she says, as Millie chuckles and pulls me from the store.
“What just happened?” I ask, but Millie just shakes her head and pulls me to the next store.
I bite back a groan as I realize how long of a day I’m in for.
And because she’s like a dog with a bone, Millie says, “I’m not saying you have to fall in love and get married tomorrow. Or ever again, for that matter. But you deserve to be able to spend time with someone who makes you happy. That you enjoy being around.” She loops her arm in mine and meets my gaze as she says, “just think about it, okay?”
I nod because there’s no use in arguing with Millie when she gets like this, but I find her words echoing in my mind. Could I do that? Just allow myself to enjoy being around Charley without it having to turn into more?
thirteen
Buoyancy
“Idon’t know if this is such a good idea…” My voice trails off. This might be the only time in my life where I have ever been rendered near speechless. Florescent lighting has always made me look sickly, like I’ve been bedridden for months and finally emerged into the sun. But the gym bathroom is equipped with the soft, warm-toned lightbulbs that flatters my skin tone. The large mirror spans the entire length of the wall just above a row of sturdy sinks and matte black countertops. Where we're standing, we’re able to see our own reflections from the waist up, but no amount of flattering lighting can make me look any less strange right now.
“Oh, trust me. You’ll get some attention in this outfit.” Millie smiles at me, clearly pleased with her plan.
