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Jaxon leaps up, sensing her intention before she opens her mouth to say anything. “No! You can’t go yet! Now, it’s your turn to be the tarbosaurus. Or if you don’t want, you can be an acrocanthosaurus.”
I laugh because even though Jaxon stumbles through the pronunciation of everyday words, he is able to perfectly pronounce these dinosaur names that no one else knows.
“Well, Jaxon,” Breanna starts, leaning forward so that they are eye to eye.
I stop her before she can finish breaking my son’s heart. “Why don’t you stay, Breanna? Jaxon will be going to bed soon.”
I glance at the clock and see we have about thirty minutes until Jaxon needs to start brushing his teeth and putting on pajamas.
Breanna studies me, and I make direct eye contact back with her. I want to continue our discussion from earlier. Her words are still echoing through my brain. “I care about you too.”
“Care” is such a strange word. I mean, I can care about my cars. But if one of them were totaled, I would be sad for about a day, buy a new one, and move on with my life. But when you care about a person…. That’s a completely different experience.
Breanna sinks back down to her knees, and Jaxon happily explains the advantages of each dinosaur so that Breanna can pick the best one for destroying cities.
The rest of Jaxon’s playtime passes quickly, and I encourage him to hurry upstairs and brush his teeth so he has time for a story.
Breanna and I look at each other for a moment. Jaxon’s toys are still spread across the living room, and a moment later, Breanna begins sorting out the blocks from the plastic dinosaurs, putting the tubs in the right place in the entertainment center.
I watch her, my thoughts racing, almost unable to move.
I know there is going to come a moment once Jaxon is tucked in that she’ll attempt to leave again. But I don’t want her to leave. I want to share some wine, watch TV, or… do something else.
My body is yearning for her in a way it didn’t previously. Before, I only wanted her physically, but now, it’s like that isn’t enough. I want her mind and her soul, her love.
“You look like you’re really thinking about something,” Breanna says as she puts the last tub away. Her eyes settle on me.
I know we only have a minute though before Jaxon prances to the top of the stares and declares that he’s done getting in his pjs.
“I am. Can we talk about it after Jaxon is in bed?”
Breanna studies me for a moment, then nods. It’s difficult to read her eyes, though.
A flash of fear hits me. Did I imagine her words earlier? Was the kiss more on my end than hers? Maybe I misread things…
I follow Breanna up the stairs. She’s halfway up when Jaxon appears at the top asking for help with the toothpaste.
As Breanna settles Jaxon into bed, tucking him in with gentle words and a hand stroking his hair, I watch from the doorway, a swell of warmth and affection filling my chest. There's something so genuine and heartfelt in the way she interacts with him, a depth of care and tenderness that goes beyond mere duty.
As she reads him a bedtime story, her voice filled with warmth and emotion, I can't help but marvel at the bond that has formed between them. It's clear to see that she genuinely loves Jaxon, cherishing every moment they spend together and nurturing his imagination with her playful spirit.
I wish it was as easy to tell how she feels about me as it is to tell how she feels about Jaxon.
As Breanna rises to leave, I catch her eye and offer her a grateful smile. "Thank you," I say softly, my voice filled with sincerity. "For everything."
Breanna returns my smile, her eyes shining with warmth and affection. "Of course," she replies, her voice soft but filled with conviction. "I love Jaxon like he's my own."
And in that moment, as I watch her walk out of the room, I realize just how deeply Breanna has touched our lives, how her presence has brought light and love into our home. And I can't help but feel a surge of gratitude for the extraordinary woman who has become such an integral part of our family.
When Breanna comes out of Jaxon’s room, she shuts the door behind herself. Then, she leans against the bathroom doorway and makes eye contact.
"Harrison, can we talk?"
"Of course, Breanna. What's on your mind?"
"I've been thinking a lot about what you said earlier... about caring for me."
"And?" I don’t understand the streak of nervousness that runs through me. I motion toward Jaxon’s doorway just as Breanna opens her mouth to respond. “Why don’t we move this discussion away from his door?”
