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“Hey,” he said, sidling up to her and bumping his hip against hers. “You okay?”
“I’m fine. It’s certainly beautiful here,” was her noncommittal answer.
He took a wild guess. “Thinking about Angelee? I’m sure she’ll be fine and we’ll be hearing from her soon enough.”
Jayna came to him, putting her arms out for a hug, resting her head against his chest. “No, it’s not that.” She dropped a series of tiny caresses on his chest and jaw, ending with a kiss on his lips but when he tightened his arms and tried to deepen the embrace, she gently disengaged. “Didn’t you ever wonder why I was so closed up and standoffish? Why I’d never admit there was more between us than a good time and no strings?”
Theo retreated to one of the chairs on the balcony, drawing her with him and into his lap. He had a feeling the conversation ahead was going to be a tough one and he wanted her close, safe in his arms. “After the first few times, after I fell in love with you anyway, yes. Of course.”
“I was engaged once before, to my childhood sweetheart on my home world,” she said. “He was always supportive of my dream of becoming a Special Forces operator, willing to wait for me to accomplish my goals. He—his family was rich and he went straight into the family business, or businesses I should say, right out of school. He kept busy conquering new challenges and every chance we got we’d get together. He’d fly to meet me wherever I was when I had a leave coming and we’d catch up. I was doing constant missions outside the fence and it was heavenly to spend time with him in a totally different environment.” She fell silent, her eyes holding a distant, dreamy expression as if she was lost in memories. “I never questioned how lucky I was that he was willing to wait for me.” Now Jayna raised her eyebrows and gave Theo a look full of pain which stabbed his heart because she was so desolate as she recounted her memories, tone changing to sarcastic and bitter. “Or why we never took any of my leaves on our home world. I didn’t object, not once. He’d say I deserved the best pampering he could give me in my downtime and that had to be in luxurious situations our home world couldn’t provide. I was flattered. I chose to believe he was taking care of me the best way he knew how.” Her voice hardened. “I was a naïve fool.”
“What about your family?” Theo asked. “You never traveled home to see them?”
“My parents passed soon after I enlisted and my siblings all went off world, into their own careers,” she said. “So we were careless on my last leave and I got pregnant. I thought he’d be thrilled and we could finally get married. I wasn’t going to stay in the service with a child, you know?”
He nodded and held tight to her hand.
“It was a total game changer for me,” Jayna said. “Upended all my plans and dreams but I was happy. Happier than I’d ever been, I think. My commanding officer gave me a compassionate leave and I flew home to surprise him. Only of course I was the one who was surprised. He was married. He had two kids.”
Angry on her behalf, Theo rocked her against him and kissed her cheeks. “What a bastard.”
Jayna shrugged although her casual gesture was belied by the tension in her entire frame. “There was a hell of a scene of course. He offered to pay for anything I wanted, including child support. I threw his worthless engagement ring in his face and got out of there with my pride.” She swallowed hard. “On the way back to my base, my ship was ambushed by pirates. Even though I was on leave, of course I joined the fight and of course I was injured. The medics did the best they could but I lost the baby. The pregnancy was too early and my wounds were too severe.” Tears coursed silently down her cheeks and Theo cuddled her wordlessly, unsure what she needed him to say but guessing silence was the right thing until she was done with her tale.
Taking a deep, shaky breath, Jayna sat up straighter. “I returned to duty and I took every assignment they could throw at me, the hairier the better. I didn’t fucking care, you know?”
“Sure.” He’d known soldiers with similar attitudes in the past although it pained him deeply to know what Jayna had endured.
“Do you know why I finally left the service?” she asked. Not waiting for his reply, she said, “I was invited to resign. My CO said I was out of control and it was putting my entire team at risk because they were all scrambling to save me from myself instead of concentrating on the mission at hand. It was an ugly truth but I couldn’t deny it. I talked to a few of my buddies and even though they were reluctant to concur, I cut through the bullshit and was devastated to find out the CO was right. So I had to go.”
He could feel the tension seeping from her frame and figured Jayna was nearly through with her explanation.
“Jake Dilon was an old friend from the teams and he offered me a job on his staff, which I ultimately took. I decided a cruise ship was a perfect, low stakes place for me to be and any guys I met would be temporary, passing through, easy to discard and forget.” She stared at him. “Until I met you. You rang all the damn bells for me and I—I wanted more with you than a casual fling but I was afraid to get hurt again. But then we had the assignment on the Mebsuta C and I couldn’t deny any more how much you mean to me. I had to accept I loved you and the risk involved.”
Now Theo spoke. “There’s no risk. Remember those vows we spoke earlier today? I meant every single word, lady, and you’ve got me for all the good times and all the bad times and you’d better lean on me when you need support and let me be there for you.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “I love you, which I never said to any other woman in my entire life. You’re the woman I’ve always hoped to find and never could. And then there you were, smashing those damn volleyballs in my face on the beach deck.”
She laughed and looped her arms around his neck. “That was a night all right. You took defeat well, I must say.”
“It was a temporary setback in a bigger campaign,” he answered, “To win your heart.”
“Well you succeeded despite all my efforts not to fall,” she whispered in his ear. “When you agreed to go help me rescue Angelee from the hold, my last defense against caring for you fell with a thud. What’s your next move now, flyboy?”
Theo felt there was only one answer to the question and he rose, taking her with him. Jayna locked her legs around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder trustingly as he left the balcony and headed for the bedroom. He was determined to take it slow and sensuous this time and leave no doubt in his new wife’s heart he was the right man for her.
Their cruise through life had just begun.
