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Didn’t people in this town have anything better to do with their time?
“Thing is, Jimmy said when Ruby met him at the Cow, she wasn’t walkin’ from the trailer park. She was comin’ up from the direction of your house.”
Fuck me.
I didn’t give a shit what people said about me, but I didn’t want people gossiping about Ruby. She’d had enough of that in her life. When she mentioned last night that growing up here wasn’t easy, I knew exactly what she was talking about. Sometimes, small-town people have small minds and big mouths. As sad as I was to see her leave town, I was happy that she wouldn’t have to be exposed to more people talking about her.
That was the only good thing to come out of her being gone.
13
RUBY
“When things go wrong, best not to follow ‘em.” ~ Miss Dottie
Cold water poured down my body as I showered in the tiny closet-sized shower in my mom’s trailer. Snippets of the night before flashed in my head. I closed my eyes and was instantly transported back into Kane’s bed. His hands, his mouth, and his tongue had explored me with a sense of wonder and reverence that I’d never experienced before. The heated memories took the chill out of the freezing temperature of the water, warming me from the inside out.
The hopeless romantic in me wanted to believe that we shared a special connection, and that was why last night felt so different. There was recognition, familiarity, and synergy that was unique, powerful, and intimate. There was a part of me that believed the bond I felt was proof we were soul mates, twin flames who recognized one another, like maybe we’d been together in past lives and were destined to meet in this one.
But then there was the realistic side of me—the one who knew life wasn’t a fairytale. The one who had grown up in a double-wide trailer and had always fended for herself. The one whose dad was a married man with another family who never acknowledged my existence and whose mom was more interested in partying than being a parent. That side of me knew that I was just projecting my feelings onto Kane.
I’d been in love with him since before I even knew what romantic love was. From the first time I’d seen Cinderella, I’d cast him in the role of Prince Charming, and all these years later, he had not been recast.
The mystery of why last night had been so amazing was simple. My lifelong crush and unrequited love were what had set it apart. It also didn’t hurt that Kane Kingston knew his way around a woman’s body. As much as I wanted to believe that we’d had some cosmic connection, and that we’d been so in tune with one another that he’d read my mind, the reality was much less personal.
Kane was gifted. He knew what he was doing. He was a man who could satisfy a woman. If he’d gone home with Stella, she would have been the recipient of multiple Os. I was the winner of the golden ticket to Kane’s bedroom because I was leaving today. He’d made it clear that he didn’t date people in town because he didn’t want to lead them on. There was no danger of that happening with me. There was no leading me anywhere. Because I was leaving town.
After rinsing the conditioner out of my hair and turning off the water, I stepped out of the claustrophobic fiberglass cube and grabbed a thin and tattered towel. I made a mental note to send my mom some new towels and dishware after I got my first check from the cruise. No matter what, she was still my mom, and I didn’t want her living like this.
After drying off, I put on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and headed back to the ‘music studio’. I couldn’t shake the bittersweet emotion that kept creeping up in me as I repacked all my toiletries. This time tomorrow, I’d be out on the open seas, traveling in international waters. When I returned to the US, my plan was to drive straight to California. I wasn’t sure the next time I’d return to Wishing Well. Not knowing had never bothered me before. But, over the past week, I’d sort of gotten attached to the town that I hadn’t had any desire to ever step foot in again.
Not just because of the night I’d spent with Kane. My visit had been so much more than that. Spending so much time with Miss Dottie, reconnecting with Destiny, Harmony, and Cara, and meeting and getting to know Kelsi had filled an emptiness I hadn’t even realized I had.
I wasn’t totally delusional; I’d been aware that I had been lonely for a long time. A really long time. Basically, since I was nine, when Remi left to go into the Navy, I’d felt alone. I’d gotten so used to that constant state of solitude, that I hadn’t really thought there was any other way to be. But being back in Wishing Well as an adult had been so different than my experience as a kid. Growing up, I’d always felt like an outsider, from the kids at my school to everyone in town. I realized now that I’d been the one to close myself off from people. I hadn’t done it intentionally. It was just, well, I was embarrassed about my home life. Of my mom, in particular.
Now that I was back in town, I wondered if people actually had been judgmental of her or if, just like with Kane, I’d projected my own feelings onto what they were thinking.
I’d also seen my mom in a different light that I believe only age and distance would have ever given me the perspective of. The truth was, she’d had my brother when she was only sixteen. She’d gotten married when she was eighteen and had become a widow by the age of twenty-four. From all accounts, she and Remi’s father were happy. Young but madly in love.
By the age of twenty-five she’d gotten pregnant with me by a married man. I was twenty-six now, and I couldn’t imagine what my mom had been through at my age. I was barely managing to take care of myself, much less two children. Not to mention, she’d lost the love of her life.
At the beginning of this week, I’d truly believed it was going to be the worst six days of my life. Now, I was grateful for my time here.
I grabbed my duffle bag and walked into the narrow trailer’s hallway. I noticed my mom’s door was slightly ajar. She was lying in bed, sleeping. She had turned fifty last year, but honestly, she looked like she was in her thirties. The tiny fan on her nightstand was directed at her face, and the air in the trailer was on full blast. I set my bag down and walked into her room. After pulling the throw blanket over her bare legs, I leaned down and kissed her cheek.
She might not have always been the mom I’d needed or wanted, but she’d been so young, and I just didn’t feel the same anger I had for so many years toward her.
With a sigh, I picked up my bag and headed out. The front door’s hinges squeaked as I walked out onto the porch. I lifted my hand to cover my eyes as I squinted in the bright midday sun.
“You outta here?” Ray asked from his patio chair on the front deck off the trailer, where he was sippin’ on a tall can.
“I am.” I’d thought I would be a lot more excited to put this town in the rearview, but it was actually a little bittersweet.
“Don’t be a stranger, ya hear!” He lifted his can into the air.
“I won’t,” I assured him, and I actually meant it.
On the way down the porch steps, my phone buzzed. I looked down and saw that I had a voicemail. I hadn’t even heard my phone ring. The message was from Celia. She was probably just giving me the final details about checking in today. Or maybe I hadn’t filled out the paperwork correctly that HR had emailed me.
