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Molly nodded, her own face etched with worry. "Okay, let's try the bookstore next. It's not far from here."
But as we walked back to the car, I couldn't shake the gnawing feeling in my gut. The sense that this was all my fault, that I had failed as a father.
The guilt was like a physical weight on my chest, making it hard to breathe. As we drove to the bookstore, I retreated into myself, my responses to Molly's attempts at conversation growing more and more monosyllabic. I could tell she was worried about me, that she wanted to help, but I couldn't let her. This was my mess to clean up, my responsibility.
We searched the bookstore top to bottom, but there was no sign of Hailey. With each passing minute, my desperation grew, mingling with the shame and self-recrimination that swirled in my mind.
Back in the car, Molly reached for my hand, her touch meant to be comforting, but I pulled away, unable to accept her reassurance.
"Jake," she said softly, her voice laced with hurt. "Talk to me. Please. Don't shut me out."
I shook my head, my jaw clenched tight. "I can't, Molly. I just... I need to focus on finding Hailey. That's all that matters right now."
She was silent for a long moment, and I could feel the tension crackling between us. When she finally spoke, her words were careful, measured.
"I understand that, Jake, but pushing me away isn't going to help. We're in this together, remember? We're a team."
Something in me snapped, the tenuous hold I had on my emotions shattering like glass.
"Are we, Molly? Because from where I'm standing, it looks like we're a team that let an 11-year-old girl dictate our entire relationship. A team that was so busy playing house that we didn't even notice when that same girl was drowning in guilt and confusion."
Molly recoiled as if I had slapped her, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "That's not fair, Jake. You know how much I love Hailey. I would never intentionally do anything to hurt her."
I sighed, running a hand over my face. "I know that. I do. But maybe... maybe that's the problem. Maybe we got so caught up in our own fairy tale that we lost sight of reality and what was really important."
"So, what are you saying?" Her voice was barely above a whisper, but I could hear the fear, the dread. "Do you want to end things?"
The question hung in the air between us, heavy and suffocating. Did I want to end things with Molly? The woman who had brought light and laughter back into my life, who had shown me what it meant to love and be loved in return?
No. God, no. The thought of losing her was like a knife to my heart.
But right now, I knew I needed to focus on Hailey. On being the father she needed me to be, without distractions or divided loyalties.
"No, Molly. I don't want to end things. But I think maybe we need to take a step back. Just until I can sort all this out with Hailey and I can make things right with her."
The words tasted like ash on my tongue, but I forced them out anyway. For Hailey's sake and my own.
Molly nodded, a single tear escaping down her cheek. "If that's what you need, Jake, then... then okay. I understand."
I could see how much it cost her to say those words, could feel the pain radiating off her in waves. It killed me to hurt her like this, but I didn't know what else to do. I was drowning in my own guilt and inadequacy, and I needed to find my way back to shore.
Alone.
I pulled up in front of my house where her car waited, the silence between us thick and oppressive. She hesitated for a moment, her hand on the door handle, before turning back to face me.
"I love you, Jake," she said softly, her eyes searching mine. "I love Hailey. That hasn't changed, and it never will. When you're ready, I'll be here. Always."
Then she was gone, disappearing into her car without a backward glance. I sat there for a long time, staring at her car, my heart aching with a pain I couldn't begin to describe.
I couldn't dwell on that now, though. Couldn't let myself get lost in the what-ifs and might-have-beens.
Hailey needed me. My daughter needed her father.
And come hell or high water, I was going to find her. I was going to bring her home, and I was going to make things right.
No matter what it took, or what I had to sacrifice along the way.
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