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Standing from my chair, I pull her into my arms. My sister is gonna be a mom. I’m so fucking happy for her. Reagan has always wanted to be a mom and thought that was a dream she’d have to give up because she didn’t believe she’d ever find a man worthy enough to give herself to.
“I won’t say a word to anyone until you’re ready. I love you, Reagan. And I’m so fuckin’ happy for the two of you,” I tell her, letting her go and shaking Trax’ hand.
We sit together for a while. Everyone in the club brings me so many fucking drinks. It doesn’t take long for me to get wasted. I only stop drinking long enough to eat the food Reagan forces on me. The rest of the night I drink until I’m so drunk I’m about to pass out. Instead of taking a Fallen girl to my room to help me celebrate today, I go there on my own and make sure to lock the door even in my drunken state before crashing into my bed and promptly passing the fuck out. Zoey fills my mind as usual because I can’t stop thinking about her ever. That girl is the love of my life and I’ve hurt her so fucking much over the years. I’m a fucking asshole!
Zoey
My life has been one fucking disaster after another. It all started when I fell in love with a boy I know will never love me back. Jameson is the love of my life and I can’t remember a time when I didn’t love him. For me, it’s not about his looks. Though he is sexy as fuck. No, what made me fall in love with Jameson is the way he treats everyone around him. When we were growing up, Jameson would always make sure the younger kids were taken care of when we were out playing. If one of us got hurt, he was right there to make sure we were taken care of. He held my hand on more than one occasion when I got hurt because I’m a clumsy bitch. Not as bad as Darcy, but things just seem to happen to me when I least expect it.
Jameson is a huge guy. He stands at over six feet tall and his muscles are larger than most other guys his age. His skin is always tan as if he uses a tanning bed during the winter months and remains outside all day long during the summer. That’s not the case, but I don’t know how his skin is always tan all year round. His light blue eyes shimmer in the sunlight and darken to a sapphire color depending on the mood he’s in. Jameson keeps his light brown hair cut short on the sides and back while letting it grow out on top. When he was younger, he would spike it up or wear it in one of those faux hawk styles like Joker used to have. Now, he covers it with a black hat that’s always on backwards. Tattoos cover his skin from his neck down to his fingers. Both hands are covered in ink and I always wondered why he did that. I’ve read some books and I think I know the reason, but I know Jameson doesn’t read. I guess it’s just something he likes and wanted to do.
Over the years, I’ve had to watch the man I love take out one girl after another. It started when he was in high school and got his license. Anthony and him were always going out on dates with girls and being surrounded by them when they were anywhere outside of the clubhouse. I stopped hanging out with them way before then because I didn’t want to constantly be pushed away by him because it hurt too much watching him flirt, whisper things into a girl’s ear, and everything else he would do to get a girl to go out with him. It didn’t take me long to realize I’d never be a blip on his radar and that I wasn’t the type of girl he’d ever take to bed. Because Jameson doesn’t do relationships. He fucks a girl a few times and then becomes bored. The same way that Anthony has always been. I swear they have some kind of bet going on to see who can fuck the most girls. Even now when Jameson’s left Clifton Falls and rarely returns since joining a different club.
With my heart constantly breaking, I started staying away from the clubhouse before Jameson left. Even on family day, I’d make an excuse to stay away and do my own thing. Most of the time it was studying. I wasn’t interested in going out with boys my age or going to the parties everyone was having. My interest became graduating from high school early and leaving Clifton Falls behind to start college. Away from all the memories involving Jameson and the pain I’ve endured over the years.
Everyone knows I have a crush on Jameson. Only one person, Reagan, knows how I truly feel about him because she’s my best friend. She wasn’t allowed to go to parties and shit when we were in school, so we chose to stay home and study together. Though, I never went to her house for obvious reasons. We always hung out at my house so I didn’t have to see Jameson. Even after he moved away, I chose not to go to their house because there’s pictures of him all over the place.
Now, it’s the day I leave Clifton Falls behind. My brothers are gone, Reagan is gone, and I’m ready to start my own adventure. My dad, Tank, doesn’t like this shit one bit, but he’s letting me go. My goal is to get my master’s degree in business. I want to open my own business and a non-profit to help others. So, I’m going to go to school until there’s no classes left for me to take and study enough to keep my mind off the asshole who isn’t named at all.
“Baby girl, are you ready to head out?” my dad asks, walking in my room where I look around the empty space. I’m taking most of my things and leaving hardly anything behind at all.
I won’t be staying on campus at college. My dad rented me an apartment in a safe building and upgraded the security so no one’s going to get to me. He’ll be able to monitor the security feed from his phone, but I don’t really care. I have nothing to hide and I don’t plan on turning into some kind of slut when I head to college. I mean, I plan on getting some experience while I’m there, but my main focus will be studying and graduating early from college if possible as well.
“I’m ready,” I say, turning to face my dad with tears in my eyes as I hold a hoodie I stole from Brax a few years ago.
I have something from all of my brothers. They know all about it, but don’t say anything because they know I’ll beat their asses. We all were taught to fight, shoot, ride, and everything else growing up. I don’t have to worry about a man handling a situation for me because my dad made sure I’d be able to take care of myself.
“Baby girl, you’re breakin’ my heart. Why are you cryin’?” he asks me, pulling me into his large arms and holding me close.
Yes, I’m a daddy’s girl and always have been. I’m not ashamed to admit that shit either.
“I’m leaving the only home I’ve ever known. I know this was my decision to make. I just didn’t think it would be this hard to leave you all behind,” I tell him, tears continuing to roll down my face.
“You can still change your mind, baby girl,” he states as if it’s that simple.
“No. I need to do this. It’s too hard to stay here when everyone else is leaving. I’ll be the only one left here eventually. I mean, Brandon, Kyle, and a few others are here, but I’ll be the only girl. It’s time for me to get away and start to live for myself instead of others,” I tell him, keeping my arms wrapped around the man I’ve loved and looked up to my entire life.
“Okay, baby girl. You know I’m always only a phone call away. I’ll be at your door the second I can. You’re not gettin’ rid of me that easy,” he says, trying to lighten the mood between us as I pull back and allow him to grab the last of my things to load up in the trailer attached to his truck.
My mom and dad are taking me to school and helping me get moved into the apartment that’s a two minute walk from the campus. I’m right in the center of college town and there are a ton of shops, places to eat, and things to do in the area. There’s also a ton of bikes. Mainly sport bikes, but bikes are bikes in my eyes. In fact, my own bike is loaded up on the trailer with the rest of my things. I got a bike last year after saving up for years for one. My brothers laughed their asses off when I pulled up on a dark blue Ducati Monster alongside their Harleys. I don’t care what they think of my bike. I ride it every day and it’s the most freeing time in my life. I forget about everything when I’m riding just like they do.
I follow my dad down the steps of our home and take it all in. I know I’ll be coming back here during vacations and things like that. But it kind of feels as if this is the last time I’ll be here as someone who truly lives behind these walls. When I step out on the front porch of the house, I see my bike sitting in the driveway. My dad told me he already loaded it in the trailer so I’m confused.
“What’s going on, Dad?” I ask him as my mom leaves the house behind us from whatever she was doing.
“Skylar is gonna ride down with your mom. I want one last long ride with my baby girl before you start school. So, we’re gonna ride there while your mom and Skylar follow us. I’m sure Cage and Joker will make the trip with us too. Today is all about you and this ride is for us. I’m gonna be a selfish fucker and get in this last ride. Go get your gear on. It’s in the bathroom downstairs,” he answers me, his voice full of emotion as I reach up to press a kiss on his cheek before racing in the house to get ready to ride.
My favorite thing to do is ride with my dad. We’ve taken so many trips over the years starting when I’d ride on the back of his bike until I started riding my own. He’s taken me to places I’d never discover on my own and let me speed when I want to without yelling at me too much. I don’t ever go too fast, just enough to hit my comfort level of handling my bike. At least when I’m with him. I try not to speed, but there’s a time or two I’ve let loose and tested the limits of my bike.
After putting all of my gear on, I make my way back out to the porch to find Cage, Joker, and Skylar talking to my parents. Brandon and Kyle are here too. It looks like I’m getting an escort to school today. I don’t mind that at all. Honestly, I wouldn’t know what to do if I didn’t have an escort somewhere when I’m still in my hometown. My dad, uncles, and cousins are extremely overprotective and I’m not just talking about the Wild Kings. My grandpa is the President of the Phantom Bastards MC and my uncle is also an officer of the club. They also watch out for me whenever they’re in town or I’m near them. In fact, I won’t be too far from them where I’m going to college. So even though it feels as if I’m leaving part of my family behind, I’ll be close to part of my other family.
“Lookin’ good, Zoey,” Cage says, holding his hand out for a fist bump as normal.
“Are you ready for this trip?” I ask, looking at Kyle and Brandon after fist bumping Cage and Joker.
“Yeah. Let’s fuckin’ ride,” Brandon says, a smile on his face. “It’s always so fuckin’ funny seein’ you in full ridin’ gear. Is that a new helmet?”
“Yeah. I just bought it and had it custom made with the design on it. It’s my favorite helmet so far,” I answer him as I slide it over my head and prepare to head out with my family surrounding me.
I think I might have a problem when it comes to helmets. I’ve got so many of them that I’m leaving behind and won’t take them with me. I don’t go the cheap route when it comes to my gear so they’re all expensive as hell and I’ve bought every single one of them with my own money. With my helmet in place, I walk over to my baby and straddle it before turning the key and making sure everything is good. I know my dad already went over my bike and I’m certain he filled it with gas after unloading it from the trailer. My dad is the only one who’s ever been allowed to ride my bikes or dirt bikes. I don’t trust anyone else to get on them just like I wouldn’t ever get on one of the boy’s bikes.
Starting my engine, I rev it a few times as everyone else gets ready to head out. My dad sits on his bike next to me and looks over as I dance to the music playing in my Bluetooth speakers in the helmet. As usual, my dad shakes his head and laughs at me. They’re all used to my antics by now and nothing surprises them at all. Kyle and Brandon are laughing at me too as my music cuts off and I link up with the rest of them so we can communicate while we’re on the road. I never ride with them without remaining in constant contact. With Kyle and Brandon here, it will be a ton of laughs because neither one of them knows how to shut up as they talk about everything. Especially the hot girls they see when they’re riding.
We pull out and take off. Until we get out of Clifton Falls, I keep to the speed limit and don’t push it. The second we hit the highway, my dad looks over at me and I already know what’s coming.
“Wide fuckin’ open, baby girl. Just stay with me and don’t go too fast with your mom and Skylar here. They’ll kill us all,” he says through the speakers.
“Let’s fucking do this!” I return, a large smile on my face as I twist the throttle and pull away from the truck and SUV my mom and Skylar are in.
My dad and I speed along the highway like normal while still remaining safe and keeping the SUV and the others close to us. If I were alone, I’d be out of here already. But, I’m not gonna upset my mom. She already hates that I ride a bike and rarely take a car anywhere. I’m my dad’s daughter and want to ride like he does. When the weather is shit, I don’t like taking a car but there’s no choice in the matter because I refuse to hurt myself by riding when I’m not sure of my capabilities. For now, I’m confident and ready to start this new journey of my life.
