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I don’t need to get high.
I don’t need to numb my feelings away with booze.
I need to be used.
Treated like dirt under someone’s shoes.
Who better to do it than trailerhood trash?
You know who.
I don’t want safe, sane, and consensual or whatever the dumb motto is.
I want dirty, rough, and put in my place.
I don’t want to recognize myself in the morning.
Maybe I don’t even want to be here in the morning.
Hands in my hair. Hands on my body, under my clothes. Pushing me down. Filling me up.
Take me away.
Violate me.
There’s nothing left to save anyway.
Chapter 16
Corvin
One day I’ll stop watching the man who’s grabbed hold of my heart be torn apart. One day I’ll stop walking into hospital rooms where he’s splayed out on an exam table in a flimsy paper gown.
That’s not today, because as Blair steps into the waiting room with a carrier of coffees, the grave look in his eyes only serves to remind me of the hell that led us here.
The phone call hours earlier that trapped my heart in my throat.
“One of the guys from the neighborhood dropped him off at the hospital. I can’t go up there alone.”
How Shiloh wouldn’t even look at us let alone talk to us while we waited beside him.
“How is he?” Blair asks as he takes a seat in the plastic chair beside me of the smaller waiting room they moved us to a few minutes before.
I take the cup he offers me—a black coffee with too much sugar—and blow on the rising steam.
“Still in the exam room. How’d the call with Atlas go?”
Blair stares down into his coffee cup, chewing on the tip of his thumb. “It didn’t. He’s in the middle of a shift, and I know he’ll leave immediately if I tell him, and I don’t want to overcrowd Shiloh. Not after something like this.”
Comforting people is usually my sweet spot, but the anxious energy thrumming through my veins has me on edge.
“He should be here for you if nothing else.”
Blair shakes his head. “I’m not the one who was assaulted.”
Again. But I know Blair is in the dark about the events of the party. Shiloh swore the attack was going to both of our graves.
Footsteps draw our attention to the open doorway where a nurse with a clipboard stands wearing a painted on smile.
