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She frowns, nodding at the book in my hands. “You checked your father’s diary?”
“Not yet. I was about to.”
“My kind are not capable of what you’re suggesting,” she says. “But your fae blood might hold some answers.” Her words hold no accusation. She knew my father and never judged him for what he was or what he did as a poisoner. Still, I can’t help but feel some judgment of my own toward my dark fae heritage, especially if it’s somehow transformed me into a walking, breathing poison.
I exchange a look with Kendall and can tell she understands.
“Tor,” she says, stepping forward as if to comfort me.
“Stay back,” I say quickly.
She retreats.
Silence falls, and I feel a wall forming between us. It’s not just Kendall though. It’s everyone. The idea of never touching another living creature is a bleak thought. One I’m not quite ready to process just yet.
“I’m going to read Dad’s journal,” I say. “And probably sleep out here until I know more.”
Kendall nods. “Okay. I’ll bring you some blankets.”
“Thanks.”
She hesitates like she wants me to ask her to stay with me. When I don’t, she slips out, leaving me with Juniper.
“She worries for you,” Juniper says.
“Likewise,” I say wearily.
“It’s not easy raising a child. It’s even harder when you’re still a child yourself.”
“I’m not a kid anymore, Juni.”
“This world asked too much of you, and you gave it anyway. But you lost yourself. Maybe this”—she nods at my darkened veins—“will help you find the parts you’re missing.”
My throat tightens as her words hit way too close to the mark. She’s right. I gave up everything to provide for Kendall. I was just sixteen when my parents died. A kid. And then I became an adult and a parent in a single moment. It wasn’t fair but it was my only option. And now… I don’t know if I can put myself back together again. Or how to even begin.
I sigh. “I don’t have the luxury of thinking about myself, you know that.”
“She is stronger than you think.”
“I’m supposed to protect her,” I say. “Not be the one to put her in danger.”
“Our role isn’t to shield them; it’s to prepare them.”
Her words are a painful reminder of how little preparation I had to become a single parent of a six-year-old.
“What am I supposed to do?” I ask, ignoring her attempts to reassure me. It’s a conversation we’ve had before, but tonight, I’m too exhausted and beaten for it. “If my skin is poison, then what?”
She looks at my cassava plant like it holds the answers. At her attention, the stem moves, angling toward her. Juniper’s nymph blood is a siren call to plants, which is why I don’t usually allow her to spend much time in my shop. Tonight is an exception. One that will probably leave my plants in withdrawals once she’s gone.
“You will figure it out,” she says decisively. “And in the meantime, I will look after Kendall.”
Juniper leaves me alone, and I spend two hours poring over my father’s diary. I’ve read it before. Hell, I helped him write many of the entries while he was still alive. But I wasn’t exactly looking out for any mention of dark fae abilities involving poisonous flesh powers, so it bears another look. Unfortunately, my search yields nothing.
Kendall drops off a blanket at some point, but I end up sleeping in a wooden chair with my head on my desk and wake to the sound of my phone ringing. I reach for it, groaning at the stiffness in my neck and back, and see the caller is Unknown.
“Hello?” I answer.
“Tori, I need to speak with you.” Uziah’s voice is gruff and strained.
