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That I’m in a weird place, with a weird man, and I’m separated from my mates. That I’m terrified of whether or not I’m going to be murdered.
I’ve asked him what his plan is, if he’s going to kill me, or what, but he’s never once confirmed anything.
I think he might be struggling himself to think what to do with me.
Because that’s not terrifying or anything.
But there’s worse things that could happen to me than death. A year ago, I would never have thought that. I’d have been sat here, praying for death. I’d have been hoping for it, thinking how he’d solved two issues with one stone. It’s always been this inevitable thing that I knew was coming, and I was just trying to battle to not reach it.
It’s been hard. It really, really has.
Hell, I thought if I ever got into a situation like this I’d just kill myself or entice whoever to do it for me. I thought I’d offer myself to the kidnapper and be happy he was putting a bullet in my head or clawing out my throat.
I’d just be happy he’s killing me, and I don’t need to be strong enough to do it myself.
But now that I’m in that situation? Now that I’m here, alone, and the option to just end it seems to be so in reach?
I can’t.
I’m not dead now, and I won’t go down without a fight.
Not when I’ve got so much to live for.
I want to be alive. I want to be with my mates.
I don’t want to die.
I know I’m not healthy. I know my mind betrays me more than it supports me. But right now, in this moment, I’m going to fight my fucking hardest to get out of here.
And once I’m safe and back with my guys? I’m bonding the fuck out of all seven… six of them.
Seven?
Cevon.
He’s the only thing standing between me and freedom.
With that in mind, I creep down to the kitchen, knowing I need to take things into my own hands. If I can hurt him, I can get away… My hands are shaking, my legs trembling, but I keep fucking moving.
I’m in the man’s kitchen thinking about a way to kill him—or at the very least hurt him so badly that he can’t get up and stop me—and, yet, my hands are shaking.
How am I meant to slit his throat if my hands won’t stop shaking?
If my heart won’t stop pounding?
How do people do this?
I slow everything down, trying to settle the anxiety within me, and try to calm my breathing down.
Make a list, Nora. Get a plan in place.
I need to detain Cevon, and then I need to do what my Alpha told me to do. Run. I don’t know where we are, but someone has to be around somewhere, so I can get back to my guys.
There’s got to be a way out of this.
I take a deep breath and centre myself. My wolf is fine, she’s ready. She’s upset at the lack of our mates being around, but she knows that we’ve got this.
I wish I had her optimism.
