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“Please do not discuss me needing to poop,” I say, groaning out of mortification. He doesn’t acknowledge my embarrassment. Instead, waiting for me to answer his questions.
“I don’t need to poop,” I snap. Although, I did do my period poop earlier. There’s nothing like the crappy way your digestive system behaves when you’re already going through a shit time. It’s been so long since I’ve had a period that I didn’t piece it together, but hindsight is a real bitch. “I do need a tampon, though.”
“What?” he asks, looking at me like I’m stupid.
“A tampon.”
Still, he looks at me like I’m speaking a foreign language, as if the word tampon just doesn’t exist in his world.
Then again, he’s a man. Of course, it doesn’t.
“Is that a kind of doctor? A kind of medicine?”
Is he taking the piss?
“You had a mate,” I say, and he flinches. I didn’t bring her up in a negative context, but I make a mental note not to do that again. It hurt him, and his pain is never something I want. I change my topic slightly to shift the conversation from her. “How do you not know what a tampon is, Cev?”
He frowns at me. I send up a silent prayer for Lainey, not because she’s dead, but because she had to deal with this level of ignorance whilst she was alive. I have a feeling that if I had met her, I’d feel very sorry for her.
Then again, I don’t know what kind of man Cevon was when she was alive.
Death changes us, and seeing him in this state, for the first time in a little while, it’s really made me grateful I survived that suicide attempt. Because I don’t think my mates would be this well put together.
I think it would have broken them.
And that’s saying something, considering how badly Cevon is coping.
“I’ve got my period,” I say, and he still seems confused. “I’m bleeding from my fucking uterus. It’s amazing being a woman.”
“Oh, shit. What do you need?” he asks, his attitude far more frantic now. “Write me a list, and I’ll go to the store.”
“I could come,” I say, but he shakes his head.
“You’re bleeding, and your stomach hurts. Plus… don’t worry,” he says, giving me a small grimace. “I’ve got this. Just write it down.”
I sigh, and write the word tampon on the piece of paper he gives me in capital letters, and underline it five times. That’s all I need.
You know, other than the rest of my mates.
And a hot water bottle.
Some chocolate and some good pain relief.
Some cuddles.
Okay, there’s a lot that I want.
But he’s already overwhelmed enough.
“I’ll be right back,” he reassures me, kissing my forehead, before running off. He forgot his keys, and I hear him complaining as he rifles through the drawer in his office.
“Here,” he says, coming back into the room a minute later. He’s got my kindle in his hand, and I raise an eyebrow. “Do you want to read on it, or do you want to argue about it?”
Well, that logic is fair enough. I take the device, and smile at him.
“Point to you.”
He disappears from the room with heavy footsteps as he races down the steps, and he’s probably going to deny this, but there was definitely a hint of a smile on his lips when I awarded him a point.
