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She nods. “I’ll not get those results until later today, but we can schedule another appointment once I’ve got them, either for later this evening or tomorrow, or, well, anytime before the end of this menstrual cycle. This can be an in-person conversation or a telephone consult—it’s your choice.”
I nod and smile. “We’re good with either.”
“Do you have any questions?” she asks.
“If I were to choose to go on birth control, how soon do I need to make that decision?” I ask.
“Based on how heavy your period is, and how you’ve only been bleeding for one day, I’d estimate at least four more days. Minimum.”
“Lovely,” Orson mutters, but Kat ignores him.
“If you were to start your birth control whilst bleeding, it becomes effective straight away,” she says. “If not, it takes seven days. My advice would be to start it within this cycle to best protect yourself.”
I nod.
“I do want to talk to you about your options, though, especially with your history of depression,” she says, glancing at Orson before turning back to me. “Birth control affects your hormones, and it alters them to prevent you getting pregnant. A big side effect in the vast majority of women is that your mood can fluctuate, but, more importantly, it can affect it negatively.”
The tension in the room rises, and I look down at my hands in shame. This might not be a concern for other women, but for someone like me? Someone who already struggles with depression and is barely holding on?
Cevon and I need to discuss this because he’s most definitely not ready for kids. We mentioned talking about it last night, and we’ve not yet had a moment alone. But, honestly, I’m not even sure I’m ready for them.
But if birth control can send me back to the dark place, the one I’ve only just managed to crawl myself out of… do I really want to risk it?
“There are other side effects. The general ones are weight gain, adjustments to your period and your heat cycles, nausea, headaches, and breast tenderness. A lot of these settle down after a few months, and you may not even get them.”
I nod, but my heart is racing. A few months of depression—potentially?
“What happens if we choose not to go on birth control?” Orson asks, taking over the conversation now. “If she chooses that she doesn’t want to go on the medication, but she also doesn’t want a baby?”
Kat nods. “Condoms can be used, but they need put on correctly.”
“I know how to put a condom on,” Orson says.
“Have you ever knotted a woman during her heat?” Kat asks with no judgement in her tone. Orson shakes his head. “Exactly. Have any of your pack?”
“No.” He frowns. “One, maybe.”
“Well, maybe he’ll show you,” she says. “But for my patient’s health, if that were a route we were going, I’d like to demonstrate to reduce the chances. If used incorrectly, a condom is no safer than going in bare.”
“I see,” Orson says.
“And that then relies on each man making sure he puts a condom on correctly as hormones rage rampant in the air,” she continues. Orson deflates. “But if we don’t use condoms, we still have options. Abortions are hard, but not impossible as long as both the human and the animal are in sync.”
“What do you mean by that?” Orson asks when I don’t.
I’m still reeling that my options seem to be have a baby or kill myself, and I never thought that was a choice I’d have to make.
“Our animal sides are usually very pro life,” she says, glancing to me before focusing back on Orson. “I don’t know the relationship you have with your wolf, Nora, but if she’s not going to consent, it makes the abortion’s success rate a lot lower.”
“I see,” Orson says.
“Our other option is to block your heat completely, but, in your case, I don’t recommend it,” she says. “But it’s an option you deserve to consider.”
“Why don’t you recommend it?” I ask.
“Because you’ve never had one. I already predict this heat lasting longer than is norm, and the more we delay it, the harder it’ll be on your body,” she says.
“When would you recommend it?” Orson asks.
