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Her hope has fully faded as I’ve spoken, a wave of sadness overtaking her pretty features, although she tries to hide it. She tries to put on a brave face and pretend she still loves me.
But she doesn’t.
She looks at me now with sad brown eyes, and it makes me feel like the scum of the earth. The only thing stopping me from comforting her is the face of my older brother sitting right there with her. He’s, thankfully, silent because all of this is his fucking fault.
My lion cries in my head, hating the fact that we’re upsetting our mate. He thinks we should have kept all of this from her, that we should just pretend that we’re not damaged, that we’re not bad people.
He thinks we’ve done a good job so far, but he’s a fucking idiot.
Nora’s not a fool. She knows exactly the kind of person I am—she just didn’t need it shared in this vicious way.
Keeping secrets from her isn’t fair to her, nor to us. She deserves to know exactly the kind of man fate has matched her with, she deserves to know the truth about me, about how much blood I’ve got on my hands.
That’s the only reason Atticus is still breathing.
She’s trying to appear brave as she looks me up and down, and I pray that she’s still going to see something good within me.
She won’t. You’re worthless. Useless.
Her fox mate, Voss, is pretty twisted. He’s got a darkness in his past that rivals my own, and she still loves him. So, maybe, maybe she’ll still love me.
She won’t. You don’t deserve to be loved.
Not by her. Not by anyone.
“I understand,” Nora says softly, and I wonder if she’s forcing herself to appear sweet. If she’s trying to disguise her hatred for me in that horrible siren voice of hers, the one I should have known better than to fall for.
“Did you do anything to try and make up for that?” she asks, raising an eyebrow at me. Now I’m the one to sigh and shake my head.
Of course, that’s where her brain has gone.
“No, why would I?”
Atticus has the audacity to snort, and I so wish I could put my fist through his face. He would deserve it for the hell he’s put me through today.
But Nora wouldn’t.
“Do you know the names of those you hurt?” she asks.
“Not off the top of my head,” I reply, but I’m lying. I know the name of every single person I’ve killed whilst doing this. Every single innocent person that I had to take out to achieve my goals.
I don’t like it. I don’t.
It’s something I had to do to maintain my cover so that I could get revenge for Lainey. I had no choice, and I will stand by that until the day I die, however, that doesn’t erase the guilt. It doesn’t wipe away the marks on my soul.
Doesn’t take away the pain I’ve caused their families, their people. The only solace I’ve had is that most of them, most of the shifters who’ve tried to infiltrate my group, have only done it as a lone person. They tend not to be mated or have a family that would miss them.
A good Alpha would never let them attempt what they did otherwise.
So, other than that one mated couple I murdered, the rest of them were nobodies with very little to lose.
“Could you find out?” Nora asks, and I nod my head slowly. “Thank you. I’d like the list by tomorrow morning.”
With that, she hops up off of Atticus’s lap and turns to walk out of the room. Her ass is jiggling as she goes, and I can’t draw my eyes away from her.
Where the fuck do I go from here?
What does she mean she wants the list by tomorrow morning? What’s she going to do with the list?
