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“It’ll stay with her until she goes through puberty, just like ours,” Topher says. He leans forward a little, an almost bashful expression crossing his face. He looks so attractive right now, with his sleeves rolled up, and his top few buttons undone.
There’s a comfort edge to him.
“We don’t replace him, princess. We’re there in addition to him.”
“Well, not technically, since he’s dead,” Ben mutters.
The pang of pain that hits me is immediate, and I flinch. Seb kicks Ben, who rubs his shin and mutters a worthless apology.
I know how he feels, but those comments don’t make me feel better. They hurt. Badly.
But no matter what I hear, it won’t change the Ryan I knew and loved. The man I planned my life out with, the man who gave me my beautiful little girl, the man who lost his life just as it was truly beginning.
I won’t forget the man I knew.
I’d like to think this future I have with these men is a future he’d both understand and encourage.
You know, ignoring the hatred he supposedly has towards them.
Ryan was truly that good of a man.
I yawn, and Topher grins at me. “I think it’s time you get yourself and Phoebe up to bed.”
“I will come,” Seb says standing up from the sofa. He holds his hand out to me, not waiting for any confirmation.
“Wait—” Topher starts.
“Seb can come,” I murmur, taking his offered hand up. Phoebe’s still latched, and I adjust my hold on her to keep that possible.
“Good night, little butterfly,” Alex says. Topher and a distracted Ben both offer their goodnights, and I follow Seb up to my bedroom.
I think I know why he’s coming.
I just hope he doesn’t judge me the way I’m already judging myself.
23
MAIA
Seb and I worked together to get Phoebe bathed and ready for bed. I took a little bit of a step back and let him handle some of it on his own, and the rewarding smiles from them both made it so worth it.
She’s currently flat out in her crib, and the room is practically silent, except for the white noise and my heavy breathing. My tummy is in knots, and dread fills me at the thought of confessing.
But after everything we’ve talked about, I know I need to come clean. I want to come clean. I want the help. I want someone to lean on.
I even want someone to lecture me for keeping this secret in the first place. For not getting help or telling someone what I saw.
But who could I have told? What would I have said?
And that’s why I kept it a secret.
“I can smell your distress,” he murmurs. I’m currently lying on the bed, watching Phoebe sleep. Seb’s on the bed, too, and I’ve been hiding from looking at him. I was happy my daughter exploded in her nappy so I had to spend another fifteen minutes getting her changed, so I could try and figure out how to tell him.
It didn’t do anything but give me longer to go back and forth and make a bigger mental mess of the whole situation.
“Tell me what you’re hiding, little love.” I don’t know whether it’s Seb or Kane in control right now, and I don’t think it matters.
“I can’t,” I whisper, turning to face the man. I meet his eyes, and I can feel my body shaking. My teeth are chattering so hard it hurts, and the pit inside me is burning my stomach lining with how fast it’s growing.
