Page 198 of Baby's First Howl


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But that doesn’t mean it’ll be a fight won unscathed.

Ben flexes his arms, his muscles impressive, and he knows it. He cocks his head to the side, his light caramel hair messy from the way he’s been running his hands through it, and it’s a very attractive sight.

His head cocks in the other direction, and I know he’s straining to hear something. I don’t think he can hear any more than I can with the soundproofing of their home, but he’s certainly trying. He seems restless, and maybe even unhappy about being outside with me and Phoebe instead of inside with his brothers where the action is taking place.

“Are you upset that you’re stuck babysitting me?” I ask hesitantly.

Ben shakes his head. “This is the most important job in the world, Maia. It’s a privilege to be sitting here protecting you and Phoebe.”

I can feel the sincerity of his words, the satisfaction that it was he who was chosen to be out here with me. But that doesn’t mean he’s happy.

He sighs deeper than I did and looks up at the sky. It’s still bright and harsh, the sun that is a little bit higher in the sky now. Phoebe’s strapped to my chest, and I’ve zipped my coat up over us so that she’s getting the warmth from my chest and the coat.

I don’t like knowing that he’s feeling so out of place, without understanding why, because it means I can’t help him.

“The fighting, then? It’s upsetting you?”

“Believe it or not, this isn’t the worst fight they’ve had. One time, when we were only fifteen or so, Topher and George went at it. It was embarrassing since Topher had his ass handed to him, but it was brutal.” Ben laughs. “This one is going a very different way.”

“You can feel that?” I ask with a frown.

“I can always feel my brothers . We’ve got a bond similar to the one we share with you.” He smirks, shaking his head. “Well, not really. Yours makes me want to fuck you. I can’t say I’ve felt that way about my brothers.”

I groan and decide not to talk about that. “So then, what’s wrong? I can feel how off you are, but I don’t understand why.”

Ben kicks out at the hard grass and sighs. “I feel weak, and I hate that.”

“Weak?” I frown, wrapping my arms around Phoebe. “In your words, you’ve been entrusted with the most important job, why would they give that to you if you were the weak one?”

He refuses to look at me, his bond darkening with his turmoil. It feels heavier in my chest, and I don’t know if the sudden urge to hug him and soothe away his upset is because of the bond or just me.

But it doesn’t matter.

My mate is upset, and I need to help him.

“I’m the runt, Maia, the weak link. I struggle to control my shifts, the bond between Fluffy and I is both stronger and weaker than the bonds the others have with their own wolves. It makes me a problem. I’m a liability in these hot-headed situations, and it pisses me off that I’m not good enough to be by their side.”

My frown only deepens. “How can your bond be both stronger and weaker than theirs?”

He stretches his legs out in front of him, stopping the jiggling that his leg was doing. I didn’t realise how annoying it was until it stopped. “Fluffy’s very powerful for a wolf shifter, on par with my brothers, for sure. He’s strong and has fought our entire life in my defence, to protect me from… myself, mostly. I’m extremely weak, on the other hand. I’m the problem. The bond between us is strong, but when I can’t control myself, he comes out and takes over. I’m then meant to be the controlling balance for him, but I can’t, and so he can’t control himself, either. We’re meant to be balanced, but we’re not because of me. I’m the weak link.”

“I know Fluffy well enough to know he won’t like what you’re saying about yourself.”

Ben grins over at me, and the blue in his hazel eyes twinkles. “You’re right, but it doesn’t make it any less true.”

“You know, out of all of you, you’re the most complex to me,” I say, rising to my feet to move closer to him. He scoots over so I can sit down close by on the table’s bench, and I feel the warmth spreading through me from where we touch. Our bond lights up, and a genuine happiness radiates from Ben. Me, too, if I’m honest.

I rest my head on his shoulder and start speaking once more, wanting to soothe him. “You’re cheerful, but also the quickest to fall into a bad mood. You’re clueless in social situations and yet so smart. You’re tactless but honest. You’re?—”

“A box of contradictions.” He sounds so sulky here, so annoyed that I’m seeing him.

“Maybe. Or maybe you and Fluffy work so well together because you are balanced out by one another. You’re quite oppositional in your extremes, but there’s enough crossover that you’re also so similar.” I turn to look his way, but he’s deliberately staring at the tree instead of me. “Your complexity is beautiful, Benjamin Wolfe, and I can’t wait to unwrap your layers and learn everything about you.”

He snorts, turning to me now. He brushes my hair out of my face, cupping my cheek before pressing his forehead against mine. His eyes are so beautiful, his lips parted ever so slightly. As I tilt my chin up to kiss him, he murmurs, “If you want to unwrap me, baby, I’ll make it easy for you and undo the buckle on my jeans. It’s really awkward, and I’d rather you didn’t?—”

“Ugh,” I groan, shoving at his chest. Ben laughs, and I roll my eyes. “I was being genuine.”

“I know you were,” he murmurs, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. He squeezes gently, and I rest my head on his shoulder. “But I don’t want to lose control and devour you the way that I want to when Phoebe is strapped to your chest. Sure, she loves your boobs, but so do I, and I’m not the best at sharing.”

Source: www.allfreenovel.com
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