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But now that they’re gone, there’s a coldness seeping into my bones that is too hard for me to ignore. It’s horrible, and combined with the pounding of my heart and the pit of dread in my stomach, I don’t want to be here.
I’m tired.
But more than that, I’m so lonely, it hurts.
I hate that in a way, I’m the reason that two of my men are out searching for the other two. That I shared something so huge on the back of so many secrets and big drops of information, and I’ve caused this sort of tension.
Not because it’s not true. Not because it’s my fault. But because it’s such a huge change, a huge shift in their lives, and I’m the catalyst for it.
Between Phoebe, who is Ryan’s wolf-born daughter, and the ties we share with the Grey pack... to now having even deeper ties to the family dramas that have plagued them for the last decade, it’s an immensely hard reality to process.
Phoebe begins to stir, and I sigh, pushing away my drama in favour of tending to my little girl. Bum change, boob, cuddles, sleep. Bum change, boob, cuddles, sleep. Bum change, boob, cuddles?—
“Hi,” a voice whispers. I can’t see very well, not now that the light is off, and I hear them come into the room. I’ve been tossing and turning for most of the night, but I am so glad that they’re home. “Maia?”
“I don’t know which one of you it is, but it’s late, and I am desperate to go back to sleep,” I mutter grumpily. There’s a soft laugh, ruling out Seb and Ben. It doesn’t matter how well I can see, they’re fucking identical, and in the dead of the night, their clothes are the same colour. The man comes into the room on soft feet and gently tugs my duvet back.
I groan at the cold air hitting me, move over so he can get into the bed, and roll onto my side so that I can face him. The darkness doesn’t help, and since his eyes are just his human ones, I can’t differentiate in the dark.
“Which one are you?” I demand. There’s no tact here, only exhaustion.
“So rude,” he teases, brushing some annoying hair out of my eyes. “It’s Alex, little butterfly. Get yourself to sleep.”
I nod and stifle a yawn. “It’s four in the morning. Did you just get back?”
“Yes,” he says. “Go back to sleep, though. I’m here now. You’re okay.”
“Never stopped me sleeping in the first place,” I mutter, rolling over to face the crib so he can’t see the lie on my face. I’ve been drifting in and out of sleep every time the house makes a noise, worried it’s them coming home, but even deeper, worrying that it’s not.
I feel his warmth at my back as a soft kiss is pressed to my neck, and I fall asleep so much easier knowing that he’s home, that I’m not alone.
I don’t feel as empty, as lonely, or as soul-deprived, now.
45
MAIA
Iroll over, my head connecting with the metal of Phoebe’s crib, and I groan. I tentatively reach out for her, not bothering to open my eyes, but my heart drops, and my blood stills when I feel nothing.
My eyes fly open, I lurch up into a sitting position, and I see the crib is completely empty. My daughter is not there.
“Topher!” I scream, darting my head over to look at the door, but it’s closed. I don’t hesitate in jumping out of bed, charging to the door, and shouting once more for him as my heart pounds inside my chest.
“What the fuck is going on?” I blink, and Topher—I think—is in front of me, followed closely by Ben—I think.
“Phoebe,” I croak out, tears filling my eyes. Instantly, both men deflate, and I let the sobs overtake me, reaching out for whichever man is in front.
He wraps his arms around me, murmuring soft sh sounds, trying his best to comfort me.
“Oh, darling,” Ben says, laughing a little. His amusement is felt so clearly that it only makes me cry harder. “She’s downstairs getting doted on by Seb and Alex. She didn’t want you this morning, so we took her instead and have given her a lovely morning with her daddies.”
“Go downstairs,” Topher says to his brother as he pulls me into his arms properly. I’m sobbing, full hysterics, and Ben’s amusement is just making me feel so much worse.
Orion pushes forward once Ben’s been kicked out, and he slowly walks me over to the bed. “Don’t cry, pretty mate. Humans are stupid. They should’ve told you we took our pup. Idiots. I’ll crush them for you and let you have all the puppy love.”
I laugh slightly through the tears and let Orion dote on me as he effortlessly soothes away my distraught. He wipes away my tears, kisses my forehead, and gives me a very tight cuddle.
He’s wearing a pair of tight-fitting grey joggers, and a dark grey hoodie that is now covered in numerous wet spots from my sobs.
