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“2902,” he replies with a small smile.
I don’t make a comment about the date being Phoebe’s birthday. I can’t. I key in the numbers and add myself as a contact. Presumptuous, maybe, but I send the number to Ben, Christopher, and Seb, just so they have it, too.
“Sorted,” I say, keeping my tone soft. I hand his phone back to him and squeeze his shoulder. On the way past the sofa, I grab the baby monitor and head through to the bedroom.
Phoebe’s still asleep in her crib, but almost as if she sensed me enter the room, her eyes slowly open. She’s gorgeous, and that tiny smile she gives as she spots me in the corner is so sweet.
Even if it was directly followed by a fart so loud she scared herself.
Phoebe is finally buckled in the car, and I head off to go pick Seb up. I’ve texted him twice to let him know that we’re delayed, and each time I got a very enthusiastic response. He’s a lot chattier over text, which is pretty adorable.
He’s going to meet me at a café, which is good, since Phoebe is a little unsettled. She had a very big feed before we left, but her hands are clenched so tight, I think she wants more.
The car always soothes her, so there’s only a small risk of my furry girl shifting into a form that I can’t control, but that doesn’t fully erase my anxiety. Especially not when I’m alone.
I guide my car into the pretty busy car park, grateful for the parent and toddler bays so that I’ve got the extra space. The cold wind nips at my cheeks as I gather Phoebe’s essentials whilst she’s still snug in her carseat. I wrap the baby wear around myself, and then start getting Phoebe settled.
I wrap her soft pink coat around her tiny frame, to protect against the fading winter, before strapping her against my chest. I can feel the warmth from her, which reassures me that she’ll feel it even more from me.
It’s a nice enough day—despite the chilly wind—with pale sunlight filtering through bare branches. We’re very close to the café. It’s connected to a larger supermarket, with a door from the car park to inside, and then there’s another one that opens up into the main store.
It’s a decent size, and I’ve been here a few times before I had Phoebe. It’ll be nice to bring her in and maybe see some of the staff who knew me when I was pregnant.
As I wrench the door open, the smell of coffee and sugary desserts fills my nostrils, but my attention is grabbed by the person leaving through the other set of doors. My heart starts to race, my legs trembling, as a shiver races down my spine.
Was that… surely not.
The hair colour is common. It could’ve been anyone.
Or… maybe… maybe I brought him here. How else would my dead fiancé be leaving a café he had no idea I’d be at?
I keep my eyes trained on the figure, but he never once looks my way, and when he disappears from sight, I know it wasn’t meant to be.
As my heartbeat slows down, the busy sounds of the cafe rush into my ears. My head is pounding, and I feel like I might throw up.
“Can you move out of the way?” a blonde woman snaps, and I move forward to let her leave through the door. It breaks the spell, and I’m overwhelmed with my own sadness.
I don’t know why I have the ability to keep seeing Ryan, but it destroys me every single time he disappears. I live in hope, desperate to see him, and then my heart shatters every time it was someone else.
Even just catching sight of his face helps with the grief.
The last two times, where I actually got to talk to him, have been a gift I don’t think I deserve. Even if the last time brought far too many questions.
I head over to the counter and order a decaf tea and one of their paninis. Seb said he’d come down as soon as his meeting finished, but I have no idea how long that will be, so I may as well get myself comfortable.
Phoebe starts to whine, so I bounce on my feet and shush her whilst waiting for my food. I don’t recognise any of the workers today, which is a little sad.
“Maia?” a familiar voice calls. I turn, and my eyes widen as I slap a smile on my face.
“Dr Thomas,” I say with a nod of the head. He sneers at me, which pisses me off, but stands up and comes over to me anyway. He’s alone, but there are three empty mugs on his table. I wonder how long he’s been here.
“It’s so lovely to see you out and about.” His tone of voice says otherwise. “What are you doing over this way?”
I frown. “I’m here for some tea. What about you?”
“Maia!” Seb calls, and I hate how my body completely relaxes. I know that everything will be okay now. I turn to look for Seb, seeing a frustrated expression on his face as he cuts through the crowd.
“It seems you’re now busy,” Dr Thomas says patronisingly. “I’ll see you in a few weeks for your checkup.”
