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“She’s gorgeous,” Topher says, leaning into me to offer the comfort that he can. There’s no hesitance about the act. I nod softly. “Why don’t you put her down?”
“On the floor?” I gasp, looking up into his hazel eyes. He nods, and I tentatively crouch down and place Phoebe on the floor in the passageway. Her nails are sharp, and they do a little tippy tap as she walks forward. She’s hesitant, her small frame seeming even smaller when she’s that low down, but there’s an almost eager energy surrounding her.
She slowly creeps forward, her little grey form coming to a stop in front of the mirror. I giggle as she watches herself, and in this moment, I would kill to have the connection the guys do with her.
To be able to hear her thoughts, to communicate with her.
She raises a paw and bats it against the mirror. She’s so cute, and my heart feels so full watching her.
“Would you be upset if one of us shifted to be with her?” Topher asks. He’s keeping his tone calm and soothing as if he’s talking to a wounded animal.
I’m not wounded. I’m pissed. There’s a difference.
Even if my tiny daughter is soothing some of the hurt away with her adorable behaviour.
I don’t even turn to look his way, too obsessed with watching her. “No.”
“Would you like to see?” Topher asks, and I nod slowly. He scoops Phoebe up and strokes her fur gently before taking my hand as he leads me through to the living room. The usual sparks fly between us, but my focus is on the soft licks Phoebe is doing to Topher’s hand.
He’s so gentle with her. So kind. It’s the sweetest behaviour, seeing the attention he lathers her with.
It sends tingles through my body, a heat builds in my core. I had an amazing dad, and seeing Topher… fuck, I hate my body for giving in.
Topher is also a huge fucking liar. That’s what is important.
How many hurdles do I need to move past when it comes to them?
“Can I be the one to shift?” Ben begs, giving me a smile from the sofa. He’s wearing the same suit from earlier, although he’s taken the jacket off and rolled up his shirt sleeves. His forearms bulge in a sexy way as he clasps his hands together. “Please?”
“Sure,” I say, after checking with Topher.
I watch in fascination as Ben lifts the heavy coffee table out of the way, shoving it up against the wall, and then he begins his shift. The first sign is his eyes shift to their bright blue colour, and he starts to grow taller and bigger. Fur spouts before my eyes, and he drops to four feet faster than my eyes can track.
His coat is a light grey, the same shade as Phoebe’s, and it looks so silky and smooth. The areas around his eyes are darker, highlighting the blue of his eyes that much more, and the tips of his ears are a darker grey, too. His head is level with mine, his body massive, but his eyes... they’re Ben. Well, Ben or Fluffy. They’re beautiful.
He is beautiful.
I thought I’d be terrified, like I was the first time Phoebe shifted—or the second, or the third. But I’m not. He’s a gorgeous wolf who seems to be making a conscious effort to not scare me. He’s staying still, keeping his eyes trained on me, and they’re so familiar that I can’t even begin to feel panicked.
“Are you okay?” Topher asks, and I nod slowly, unwilling to move my eyes away from Ben. “Can I put Phoebe down now?”
“Should we call her Phoebe when she’s in this form?” I ask whilst nodding and giving permission to put her down. Topher wastes no time in gently placing Phoebe down on her feet, and my tiny little wolf bounds over to Ben with an eagerness I love to see.
“Yes. We’ll call her Phoebe in both forms until she’s old enough to name her wolf. It’s a big milestone for us,” Topher says, coming to stand next to me. He doesn’t touch me, rather just hovers close enough that the sparks between us fly through the static in the air. It’s so potent it nearly takes my breath away.
I nod and turn back to watch the scene in front of me.
Phoebe reaches up on her back paws to play with the adult wolf, and it’s both terrifying and so sweet to see the way Ben reacts. He’s a huge wolf, easily able to hurt my tiny wolf pup, but he doesn’t. He’s gentle and careful and so tender in his movements.
She tries to bat at him with her paws, and he lets out a low growl, causing her to howl loudly.
I move over to the sofa and get comfortable, a smile permanently etched onto my face. I watch the two of them play, and my heart is so full of love. Ben is being extremely careful, but I can feel the joyous energy radiating from him at being able to bond with her in this way. He’s having a good time playing with my child, and she’s just as happy.
I’ve never seen so much life in the wolf version of her before, and it’s adorable.
They’re perfect, and just like earlier with Topher, it gives me feelings I don’t want to embrace. So, instead, I push them away and let the self-doubt creep in.
“You can give her so much more than I can,” I say quietly, a wave of sadness overtaking me. It’s strong enough to drag me under if I let it.
