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“Don’t leave him, Daddy.”
“I won’t sweetheart,” he promises then hangs up.
“Isla? What’s going on?” Willa rushes in.
Tears clog my throat, long minutes pass before I can calm down enough to tell Willa the small amount of information I was given. My mind won’t stop conjuring images of Trina holding a gun to Cillian. I could have lost him tonight. For good, this time. Before I’d even had a chance to tell him I love him.
I do. Despite everything we’ve been through, I do, and I want a second chance at what our life was supposed to be.
“I love him, Willa,” I tell her after she’s consoled me enough to where at least my shivering has subsided.
“I know you do.”
“Am I wrong to?”
“Of course not. He’s different, we all see it.”
“What do you see,” I ask her. My family and I haven’t spoken much about it, not really. They’ve taken a back seat and let me and Cillian figure things out without their input. But I know the three of them have talked about it. But I’d like to know if what they’ve witnessed aligns with what I have.
“Before he left for Boston, it was like you were his sun and he orbited around you. Almost like he’d crumble to nothing if you weren’t around. We all thought he was just that enamored with you. And he was, but he did fall apart without you. Honestly, you did without him too.”
“You never told me you saw it that way.”
“I don’t know that you were ready to hear it before,” she says, soothing my tear damp hair from my temple. “Besides, it’s not like I saw it as it was happening. My third-party perspective came after your breakup. You’re both different now, though. Neither of you relies on the other for anything. Maybe that frees you both up to be with each other out of choice and desire instead of necessity. Does that make sense?”
“I think so, but I’m not sure I have enough functioning brain cells to make sense of anything right now,” I say, snuggling further down under the covers with her. “When did you get so smart?”
“It must be all this expensive ass higher education,” she says with a light laugh. “Sleep, sissy. I’m sure Cillian will call you when he can.”
I hope she’s right, but I can’t sleep without at least letting him know I’m here for him.
Me:
Dad called. I hope you’re okay. Please call me when you can, I don’t care what time it is. ??
Ending it with a heart emoji is the best I can do. I won’t tell him that I love him over text message, not for the first time since we discussed trying again.
* * *
He hasn’t called by the time Sadie wakes us up in the morning.
“Did you have a sleepover without me,” she asks with a pout.
“Not on purpose, kiddo. Mommy just fell asleep in here talking to me,” Willa answers her.
“You look sad,” Sadie says to me. “We can watch that movie with the fancy dresses and eat mint candies to cheer you up, if you wanna.” She means Marie Antoinette, for some reason, Kirsten Dunst is my go-to when I feel shitty.
“That sounds like a really good plan, but I have to go to work and you’re spending the day with your grandmother.”
“Okay, but if you’re still sad later, I know where Auntie Willa hid the candies.”
“Bitch,” I silently mouth to my sister.
“Be happy I didn’t throw them out all together,” she says. “No word?”
“Not since Dad texted that they made their flight.” That was an hour ago. I guess that means Cillian has done all he needs to do with the police. It’s hard to believe that after the night he had, he’s business as usual. Since he didn’t call me, I have no way to know where his head is at. “I wish he’d have called.”
“Give it a little time, I’m sure he’s exhausted.”
