AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Did you bring any drawings with you,” I ask her.
“No, those didn’t feel like the most important things. But I have some pictures of them on my phone.”
She pulls it out of her pocket and lets us scroll through them. This isn’t just a hobby, these are amazing, and that’s not my biased opinion talking. They’re good enough that I recognize who every portrait is of, and her landscapes are gorgeous. I’m torn up that she didn’t bring them with her. Even if I’m not ready to speak to our mother just yet, I will be calling to see if she’ll ship whatever Callie left behind. These deserve to be in a portfolio for her, not sitting collecting dust in a drunkard’s house.
“Fuck, Callie. These are beautiful.”
“Thanks,” she says, another huge smile on her face.
We finish our meals with more talk about art and hockey, then clean up the kitchen before Callie packs up the few things she’ll need for an overnight at Willa’s. Couldn’t ask for a more convenient situation. It’s still not ideal, but we’ll make do until I can come up with a better option.
Damian hinted at Callie and I moving in with him. It’s an attractive offer since he has the room, and his house isn’t far from her new school. Seeing as Callie doesn’t know the finer details of our relationship, it’s not something I’m able to move forward with.
Hopefully, some day soon. Maybe even with Willa.
Saying goodbye, I remind Callie to text as often as she needs, and that I’ll call her every day. I thank Willa, again, who says to stop it, but I won’t. It means everything to me that she’s willing to help me out. After they’ve left, I pack my own shit and then head to Damian’s. He hasn’t had as much time since we’ve gotten home, we’ve hardly seen or heard from him. Spending a few days away between New Orleans and Ely set him behind on school. He’s been busy catching up but he’s making time for me tonight.
It’s been a while since we’ve had time, just the two of us. Plenty of time with the three of us. Willa and I see each other without him, and they spend quite a bit of time without me. Somehow, Damian and I can’t connect the same way.
He’s relaxing in his living room, watching hockey, of all things.
“Look at you becoming a fan,” I say.
“I think it’s the fighting,” he says. “It turns me on. But holy fuck do you all spit a lot.”
I drop my bag and sit next to him, kicking my feet up on the ottoman.
“You don’t notice you’re doing it until you see other guys doing it on television.”
“How’s Callie settling in,” he asks, just as Lemming, a rookie who plays for Montreal, takes a slapshot that barely misses the net.
“Good, I think. The next couple of weeks will be the test, between me being gone and her starting at Rodan.”
“She’s likeable, I think she’ll do fine there. Probably doesn’t hurt having a big brother who plays pro sports, either.”
“Sure,” I agree. “But I want her to attract friends because of her, not me.”
“Of course. She’ll find her footing. We all will.”
Damian’s confidence in everything is like a balm to my worries. He’s never one to wallow in negativity. The athlete in me appreciates it. Something that’s been drilled into me as a kid is that we don’t dwell. We analyze, we adjust, we improve. You make whatever changes need to be made and you move on.
Callie and I will be doing a good bit of that, I suspect.
I watch the game, half asleep, until Damian nudges me and shuts it off. With how crammed my days have been between games, practice, workouts, and handling whatever Callie’s needs are, I’m dead on my feet every night.
“To bed, Alexander. You can hardly keep your eyes open, and you need to be up soon.”
Doesn’t seem fair that our schedules finally align, only for me to be too tired to fully enjoy it. Still, it’s been nice to just sit here and exist without a hundred different things to do. Better still is falling asleep beside Damian, my hand on his back and his lips on my neck. He doesn’t ask anything of me, there’s no expectations other than companionship and closeness.
Yet I don’t feel like I’m holding up my end or offering enough for proper balance. The worry that I’m the reason this will all go to hell is always there in the back of my mind. For so long I was worried I couldn’t offer Willa what she needed. Now, I think it’s that I can’t give Damian what he deserves. This is all I have, short, stolen moments. How do we build a future on that? A life? A family?
Maybe we’re bound to fail.
22
Willa
It’s my birthday. Which means family dinner. Luckily, Dad and the team are in town and have the night off. I invited Zander, Callie, and Damian, even though I didn’t mention what tonight was for. We’ve never made a big show of holidays in my family. Maybe because Dad was gone for so many of them due to work. Now Cillian is, too.
