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Not just Willa and Alexander but Callie, too. When I allow my thoughts to spiral toward fantasies, she’s there. Needing my help with homework or teaching me some obscure hockey fact that I know nothing about. She’s in the kitchen with us, helping us prepare dinner or Sunday breakfast.
I see it all so clearly in my dreams. It’s a far-off reality.
Maybe I need a vacation to clear my head, rid myself of these morose thoughts. For now, I need to set aside and enjoy the game. Callie and Willa are already at the seats when I get there. Willa greets me with a hug, Callie an unusually non-enthusiastic smile.
“Hey, Callie. How’s school?”
“It’s fine, I guess,” she says, not making eye contact with me.
“Did I do something wrong,” I whisper to Willa, taking my seat next to her. She looks as confused as I am when she gives me an unknowing shrug.
“Mister Damian, can I sit with you,” Sadie asks. “Uncle Zan says you’re learning hockey and I’m the best teacher.”
“Sadie, don’t bother him,” Isla says, but I wave her off.
“It’s fine, I’d love a tutor.”
“What’s that mean?”
“Teacher,” I tell her.
“Oh, yeah, I’m a real good teacher.”
“I’m a real good student. I think we’ll make a great team,” I tell her, and she nods like she already knew this.
She rattles off information as if I’ve never seen a game before. I let her because she’s entertaining as hell. Even when there’s an exciting play happening, she never fails to let me know exactly what’s happening. Her rambunctious cheering doesn’t stop her. It’s also contagious. Callie, who continues to be a reserved version of herself tonight, can’t help but join in.
If ever there was a better example of a child with an old soul, I don’t know of it.
“How’s the dissertation coming along,” Willa asks during the intermission. The first period was largely uneventful in the way of scoring. Both goalies managed to block all incoming shots and we’re sitting at a score of nothing to nothing.
“I’m nearly done.”
“That’s amazing,” she says. “I can’t wait for the day when I know I’m nearly done with school.”
“It comes quicker than you’d expect.”
“I suppose it does. Feels like Sadie was born only a year or two ago even though she’s nearly seven.”
“Maybe there’s a lesson there about not taking life for granted,” I muse. A lesson I could use myself.
“What’s wrong,” Willa asks.
“Who says anything is?” Of course, she’s picking up on my mood change. One of her many talents is how observant she is of others.
“I can tell. You can talk to me, Damian. I want you to talk to me.”
“I’m fine, beautiful. Just in my own head a lot these days.”
“Callie is too, it seems. I don’t like it from either of you.”
“For me, it will pass. As for the younger Fane, we should keep an eye on it. She’s been through a lot.”
“You’ll tell me if it doesn’t pass,” she asks, worrying her bottom lip with her thumb. I want nothing more right now than to haul her back to my place and put that mouth to better use. I’d never have thought someone caring about me the way she does would turn me inside out, but here we are.
“Sure,” I agree. “I think I need some time away. Get out of the city, maybe. Clear my head.”
“That does sound nice.”
