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“Hello, asshole?” I balked. “I’m a Dublin scumbag!”
“Not you,” he replied, looking sheepish.
“Whatever, ya culchie, muck-savage from the mountains,” I grumbled as I scribbled down the answer to question B.
“You know that’s not socially acceptable,” Gibsie shot back. “Calling me a culchie.”
“So’s calling me a Jackeen,” I countered. “Yet you do it daily.”
“You are a Jackeen,” he argued.
I rolled my eyes. “And you are a smelly fucking culchie from the back ass of nowhere.”
“Fuck you, city boy.”
“Fuck you right back, country boy.”
“Capital Dick.”
“Rebel Wankstain.”
Gibsie snickered. “How are we friends?”
“Been asking myself that for years, lad,” I replied, gaze locked on my work. “It’s one of life’s greatest unsolved mysteries.”
“I have homework,” he announced then.
“I know,” I replied, not missing a beat. “I love the way you not so subtly dropped your bag at my desk.”
“I can’t do it,” he groaned.
“No,” I corrected calmly. “You can do it.” Pulling out my calculator, I worked on the formula I needed and scribbled down my results. “You’re just too fucking lazy.”
“It’s hard,” he whined.
“Life is hard, Gibs,” I stated. “Get your books out. I’m not doing it for you again.”
“But you’re so much better at it than me,” he groaned.
“Says the fella who just called me a swot five minutes ago,” I shot back.
“You know that’s a compliment,” he argued. “Come on, Johnny…”
“Fine, but I’m tired and I need to hit the pool before school in the morning, so I’m only doing one subject,” I snapped, finishing up my own work. “Pick your poison.”
“English,” he told me with a nod. “I’ve an essay due in for tomorrow.”
Exhaling a heavy sigh, I unzipped his bag and pulled out his English book.
“You know you’re going to have to read the books before the exams next year?” I added. “All the homework in the world won’t help you if you walk in there without studying.”
Gibsie grinned. “I promise I’ll get caught up over the Easter holidays, Dad.”
“Don’t give me that Dad shite,” I grumbled as I quickly ready through his assignment task. “You need to start putting your head down, Gibs,” I added before getting stuck in. “We’re breaking up from school on Friday, lad. You need to use those two weeks off to get caught up.”
“I will,” he grumbled.
“You better,” I warned.
