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"Ida," he said, a hint of embarrassment coloring his cheeks, "the truth is, we're on a date."
"Really? That's wonderful!" Ida exclaimed, looking as if she might burst from excitement. "Oh, nuts! You should've told me! I interrupted you to talk about gutters. I'm so sorry—ugh—'gutter’ is like, the least sexy word of all time. Forget I was ever here. Forget I exist! Forget all about the gutters!" Without another word, or waiting for us to protest, she scurried off, leaving us both chuckling at her reaction.
"Well, the whole town knows now," Cole said.
"And weirdly enough, I'm imagining some pretty sexy gutters."
“Nothing sexier than some well-installed gutters. All flush and thick.”
"I’ll have to take your word for that. Does Ida have a partner?” I asked Cole curiously, sipping on my cocktail.
“She doesn’t,” he replied softly, his gaze focused somewhere beyond me. “It’s a sad story. Ida was engaged to be married.” His eyes looked heavy and sad. “She got ovarian cancer. Thankfully, they caught it early enough, but she can’t have kids. Her partner couldn’t handle that.”
“Oh no!”
“It was rough.”
“They could have adopted, maybe?”
“Clearly that wasn't an option for him." Cole made a fist so tight his knuckles flashed white. "I know relationships are difficult, and I know we only get one life. But I don't know, I kind of fucking hate that guy for abandoning Ida."
"I kind of fucking hate him, too."
"Ida's a tough woman. And full of love. With the diner, it sometimes feels like the whole town is kinda like her family."
"Small towns are still full of big lives." I don't really know what made me say it.
"Lives are the same everywhere, right? Feelings and experiences. Hopes realized. Hopes forgotten."
"All the things we thought we wanted when we were kids."
"Right. When you're a kid, life feels as wide as a river. Then, you get older, and the river dries up."
I sipped my Negroni. "It still feels wide to me. Like we can do anything we want."
"Cause you're still so young."
I shrugged. "I don't think age has anything to do with it. You've just forgotten that you're allowed to change your life if you want to."
Cole's expression was suddenly so raw, so hungry. "I want you, Elara."
I leaned closer to Cole and whispered in his ear, "Why don't you come back to my place tonight?"
His eyes widened slightly, and then a slow smile spread across his face. "I'd love to. First, though, let's have some food. While we eat, I've got a list of good questions for first dates to ask you."
"A list of questions, you say? How romantic."
With a flourish, Cole produced a sheet of paper covered in hand-written questions. "Ahem. Number one: What does your perfect day look like?"
I couldn't help but smile. As I answered him, describing a day full of croissants and coffee, with a visit to an art gallery then heading to a Taylor Swift concert, I couldn't help but think that I wasn't being totally honest.
Because the real answer was: Any day I got to spend with you.
***
I'd never brought a guy back to my childhood bedroom. As I pushed open the door and welcomed Cole in, I felt suddenly more vulnerable than I had for a long time.
"Wow," he said. "Is this just how you left it?"
