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Funny how much it felt like I was dying. “No one died, Sam. Come on, kiddo. How does spaghetti sound?”
“Sounds like we should invite Ryder Steele back over. Is that an option? Because having a professional chef around sounds really cool.” SJ shrugged. “Plus, your spaghetti sucks.”
“Be nice, SJ. Dad’s upset.” Sam tucked her arm through mine and pulled me towards the kitchen. “Your spaghetti does suck, though, Dad, so SJ and I will make dinner. You can just sit and tell us why you look like this.”
“Like this?” I knew I shouldn’t have asked as soon as her nose crinkled.
“No offense, Dad, but you look like someone kicked your puppy. You look pitiful.” She winced. “No offense… I mean, you look great…”
I sat at the island and sighed. “Thanks, Sam.”
Neither of them said anything else for a while as they fell into a comfortable rhythm making dinner. SJ made a salad while Sam tossed slices of bread in the oven with butter and garlic smeared on them. I watched them with my stomach twisting more and more with each moment that passed. The bad feeling I’d had earlier was stronger than ever. In the back of my mind, I knew I’d fucked up. I couldn’t face it, though.
“Okay. Spill, Dad.” Sam set the timer on the oven and leaned against the island. “You’ve got ten minutes before dinner is done.”
I didn’t want to admit anything. I was ashamed of myself. I could tell by the look on their faces that I couldn’t ignore their pleas for information, however. “Things went bad with Fiona.”
Sam frowned. “What did you do?”
That shocked me. After my breakup with the woman I’d dated after their mother, Sam had been nearly feral with the desire to strangle the woman. She’d automatically had my back.
“Dad. I don’t mean to hurt your feelings, but I can tell by your entire energy right now that you did something that you regret. Plus, Fiona is so sweet.”
I looked away from her and rubbed my eyes as a migraine took root behind them. Without looking up at them, I gave them the shortened version of what happened. Saying it out loud made the quiet fears at the back of my mind fight their way to the forefront. I knew that I’d fucked up. I should’ve known it the moment it happened, but my fears had gotten the best of me.
SJ groaned. “Dad! Are you serious?”
Sam crossed her arms over her chest and scowled. “That was stupid.”
I frowned. “Careful.”
She shook her head at me. “No. You were an idiot. How could you do that? The way you talked about Fiona before made me think you really knew her and cared about her. How could you believe something that two mean bitches said about her? Did you even go to high school? That’s like mean girls one-oh-one.”
I narrowed my eyes at her. “Language, Sam.”
“Language, Sam.” She mimicked me and then jabbed the buttons on the oven to turn it off. “She’s pregnant with our little brothers or sisters. You need to fix it so SJ and I don’t miss out on having little siblings.”
SJ watched his sister storm off and then turned to me with raised eyebrows. Sam wasn’t a kid who would ever usually be disrespectful towards her parents. She was a good kid. More than that, it seemed, she was a good person, a good person who couldn’t support me hurting another good person.
“She’s right, Dad.” SJ gripped the countertop and blew out a deep sigh. “I thought you loved her.”
I nodded because I couldn’t lie to him. “I do.”
“You and Mom always talk about trust. Doesn’t seem like you trusted Fiona.” He walked off towards his room and left me sitting in the kitchen with a salad and partially cooked garlic bread. Alone.
45
***Jake***
The next morning I was roused from a restless sleep by the sound of Lucy banging around somewhere outside my bedroom door. I’d struggled with the need to throw back a bottle of whiskey the night before and I was going on what felt like minutes of sleep so when I jerked open my door, I was pissed and wanted her to go back to her own room. I came face to face with her holding a bucket and a long handled mop.
“Did I wake you? Sorry. I wanted to start early on my chores.” She made a face. “My punishment, I guess.”
My anger turned to confusion. Lucy never got up early and she’d never looked so eager to get started doing anything. “Why are you up so early?”
She smiled a little too brightly. “I want to go ahead and get started, Dad. I’m washing your truck first, right?”
I scratched my beard and frowned. “That’s what we agreed on.”
