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His expression hardened. ‘Stop being so selfish. Learn to put others before yourself. Who’s going to look after them if you don’t?’
Suddenly she was surrounded by her siblings as their younger selves. Willow was a baby, lying on the ground and screaming. Leo was four, crying, with wee running down his stubby little legs. Henry was frozen, petrified and unable to speak, and Connor, only seven, was fighting a police officer trying to take them from their parents.
‘Mom! Mammy! Daddy!’ she screamed.
They were in the distance, dancing together around a fire, her father with antlers on his head.
‘Estelle…’
She turned back to James. He was now wearing a pilot’s uniform. Elyse and Summer were standing on either side of him, dressed as cabin crew. They had their hands on each of his shoulders, one leg raised behind them. Giggling, they leant forward and kissed his cheek, leaving lipstick marks behind.
James smirked at Estelle. ‘You belong here. In bumfuck nowhere.’
Turning to Elyse, he cradled the back of her head, then brought his lips towards hers.
‘Noooooo!’
Estelle’s scream wrenched her from the nightmare and she pushed herself up to sit, her chest heaving as she breathed.
‘It’s just a dream,’ she whispered. ‘It’s not true.’
But the feelings ran down to her bones. She’d grown up in Henry’s shadow, her father allowing him to go to private school, but forcing her to stay at the local secondary, which she’d hated. Henry and James were very different, but they were both successful. They’d had the natural advantage of coming from privileged backgrounds and having been born men. And if that wasn’t enough of a head start, they’d gone to the most elite school in the world, then to Oxford University. Whereas she had…
Stop playing the ‘woe is me’ game. Look at your life and what you’ve got!
Dragging herself out of bed, she went to the bathroom.
It was selfish of her to expect James to stay. She just needed to carry on doing what she’d done her whole adult life; sucking it up and saving the day.
‘Hi,’ Estelle called out into the main body of Shoscombe Manor from the office wing. ‘Can I come in?’
The door was wide open, but she still waited. It was eight a.m. but she knew at least some people must be up as Elyse had left the livery earlier than her, and the lights were on in the corridor.
Footsteps sounded, then James appeared, striding towards her. His clothes looked fresh, but his face was crumpled with stress.
‘Thank you for being here. I…’ he trailed off.
Reaching out, Estelle touched his arm. ‘It’s okay.’
He shook his head. ‘It’s really not.’
She dropped her hand from his arm, but he caught it before it reached her side, his thumb rubbing her palm as if it was a worry stone. She took his other hand in hers. After all the hatred she’d harboured towards James over the years, suddenly holding his hands seemed the most natural thing in the world.
‘What do you know?’ she asked.
‘There’s been a problem with the factory manufacturing Dad’s line of perfumes. He’s been accused of using banned chemicals in them, which is bullshit, because I created the recipes. So, if it’s true, then it’s the manufacturer at fault. Dad went to sort it out but tried to bribe the wrong person. He’s in jail. That’s all I know.’
She squeezed his hands. ‘When do you leave?’
‘Later today. The plane takes off first thing tomorrow, so we’re staying at a hotel in Heathrow tonight. Elyse has to go because she knows who Dad’s been dealing with and what they’ve discussed. I have to go because I know the chemistry and what to look for at the factory.’
‘Plus, you’re an equal mix of charming and intimidating, which should come in handy when you’re trying to sort everything out.’
His gaze softened. ‘You’re so fucking incredible.’
Pulling on her hands, he drew her closer, wrapping her arms around his waist, then holding her tightly to him.
James’s body was hard, yet Estelle felt herself melting into the warmth of it.
