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“Oh, don’t be so prickly, Beau. You don’t have to protect me. I can handle myself. Lawrence and I have been chatting for a while. I told him I needed to take things slowly and he’s been very polite and respectful about it.”
Lawrence. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that name.
“Where did you meet him?” I asked.
“On one of those dating app things. I had my doubts, and I really didn’t think it would work. Then Lawrence sent me a message, and we hit it off.”
Now I was really wary of this Lawrence character. I studied Ma’s face, the small smile of contentment on her lips, and it hit me like a freight train to the chest.
This guy made her feel special in a way she never experienced with my father. She wasn’t crying, worried, stressed, overworked, starving.
She was happy.
“We met for coffee,” Ma continued. “I was a nervous wreck. Couldn’t stop shaking. And then Lawrence took my hand, looked me in the eye and told me that there’s no rush. We’re just here to enjoy each other’s company. He treated me like a queen the whole time, Beau.”
A bittersweet pang struck my heart. Maybe Lawrence would be good for her. Maybe my mother would finally have a man in her life who treated her right.
“I was thinking,” Ma went on. “We could have dinner together sometime. The two of you could talk, get to know each other.”
“Do I have to be on my best behavior?” I replied.
“Just don’t scare him off. That’s all I’m asking.”
She squeezed my hand and rose to her feet, returning her attention to the crockpot. Lifting the lid, she stirred the stew with a spoon and tasted it, nodding with satisfaction. Then she pulled a loaf of bread out of the bakery bag and started slicing it.
“What about you?” Ma asked. “Do you have anyone special in your life lately?”
Rory’s face flashed to mind immediately. I shoved that thought aside.
“Nope. Not at the moment.”
The tread of boots and the chatter of voices signaled the arrival of the ranch hands. A few moments later, the door opened and everyone piled into the bunkhouse. They greeted Ma enthusiastically with a hug and a kiss on her cheek as if she were their own mother.
I chewed my lip, watching her. Was she glowing? Did this Lawrence guy really make her that happy? Would I be calling him Dad some day?
I couldn’t help noticing that my mother was moving on with her life. And I was still stuck in my same old patterns of short-lived, whirlwind romances so I never had to face a serious relationship.
As long as I kept my flings short and sweet, I never had to wonder…was I just like my father? When I had a wife and kids to support, would I leave them the way my father had left me?
Ma stayed long into the night, talking and laughing with the ranch hands like we were one big family. Bowen surrendered his seat at the head of the table and insisted she take it as their guest. When Cody removed his hat, she clucked her tongue over his blond curls, combing them off his forehead with a promise to give him a haircut and tidy him up a bit.
This life was all I’d ever wanted for so long.
But something felt…hollow tonight. Like a gaping hole in a puzzle, signaling that one final piece was missing to make the picture complete.
After Ma said her goodbyes, I needed time to think. Alone. Swiping a six pack of beer from the refrigerator, I left the noise of the bunkhouse behind and took refuge in the barn. A few horses nickered softly and stuck their heads out, watching me with bright eyes in the hopes I might give them a surprise treat.
An hour or two later, Bowen found me in the feed room, the beer drained dry, with my head in my hands.
“I knew something was off,” he said. “You barely spoke two words together during dinner.”
My mouth felt thick and dry as cotton, and my tongue was slow as I responded.
“Ma’s dating again.”
“Isn’t that a good thing?” Bowen asked.
I nodded, wincing when pain lanced through my head at the motion.
