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"It takes two," I said when I managed to form coherent words. "But it's not your fault, it's mine. I kissed you. I stepped over that line. I swear to god it will never happen again." Unless she wanted me to. "We can work together and be professional."
I reminded myself I still needed this party for my career, but I found that didn't mean so much right now.
"It's not like last night meant anything but two people having a nice time, right?" I said, reverting to my casual tone. "Nothing to stress over. It's not the end of the world."
I had to tell myself that, but I didn't believe it. It meant a lot. Everything. It seemed as though I had to convince her it didn't, or she'd walk away.
Maybe forever.
Friends, I could do friends. Bam-man didn't do relationships. I reminded myself of that, and hardened my heart again. Forever single, that was me. This should serve as a reminder why I lived by that policy.
"Yeah, just a fling," she said. She didn't look happy about it. "I… I didn't think it was anything else." She chewed her lip so hard I thought she might bite a hole in it. "If you think we can work together until the party is over, then I'm willing to try." She swallowed audibly. "I don't want to let the kids down."
"Right, me either," I said. Had she put a time limit on this thing? Sure, she had, why shouldn't she? She was a free agent, like I was. She wouldn't want me taking up too much of her time. She'd want to meet someone who actually saw a future with her, to settle down and all that.
I thought that guy was me only half an hour ago. Now I realised that was just a dumb illusion. I got caught up in how good last night was. Yep, that was all. My head was on straight again now, thanks to her.
"As soon as the party is over, you'll be busy fielding all those job offers," I said firmly. "So busy you'll soon forget last night ever happened. Just like I will."
That was meant to reassure her, but she looked like I stabbed her through the heart with a knitting needle.
I cleared my throat. "I mean, I won't forget, I'll just…" As if I could ever forget. The feel and taste of her was etched on my memory forever. More than any other woman I have ever been with. She was the first who meant something.
And the last.
"Yeah," she said quickly, "I get it." She gulped down the rest of her coffee and stood. "I should go." She glanced down at herself, adorable in one of my t-shirts. It hung to just above her cute little knees.
"Keep it," I said. "It looks better on you anyway."
She gave me the slightest smile. "I don't know about that. I'll wash it and return it when I see you next."
"Yeah, okay. No rush." I flashed her one of my best grins.
"We should meet somewhere more public next time." She scooped up her clipboard and started to pick up her clothes, which were spread all over.
"If you prefer," I said. That worked for me. Maybe Waves. Then I could get a burger and a beer while we worked. Win-win.
"It would be better," she agreed. "Must less chance of complicating things any further."
"Right." I stood and picked up her jumper off the floor. It smelled like her. I wanted to keep it, but I handed it to her.
"Thanks, I'll be right back." She hurried into the bathroom and closed the door firmly behind her.
I heard what I assumed was the sound of her getting changed before she reappeared, my shirt tucked into her jeans.
"Um, I'll see you later," she said awkwardly.
"I'll walk you out," I offered. I stepped toward her but she waved me away.
"That's not necessary," she said. "I can find the way."
I might not be the smartest Rapid on the team—just the best looking—but I knew when someone wanted to make a hasty exit. I'd done it myself at least a million times before. I hadn't been on the receiving end of it. It kinda sucked. Some would call it karma. I called it a wake up call not to be a jerk the next time I stayed over at a woman's place.
If I ever did again.
CHAPTER 18
GRACE
