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Sophie: Us.
Chapter 39
Sophie
I slide my keyinto the lock, my heart hammering against my ribs as I turn it. I prayed this day would come as soon as possible. But now that I’m here, dread inches its way up from my gut.
My heart’s been aching for the past eight days. But since I sent that one-worded text message, it’s been in my throat.
What if I got it all wrong?
The house feels quiet as I step into the hallway, the air still and undisturbed, confirming no-one’s home. I glance through an open doorway and am greeted by piles of removal boxes, all taped shut. It’s like no one cared enough to unpack what’s inside. Because that would mean bringing out memories. Turning the empty space into a home.
The sight of them all piled up has me rubbing at my stinging eyes as I move toward the sweeping staircase.
I don’t know what makes me climb them first. The unrelenting feeling I’ve had in my gut for the past eight days, I think. The one that tells me I did what I had to. That the pain was worth it. But the way my hand shakes as I grip the rail and headstraight toward one room in particular, like on auto-pilot, I’m not so sure anymore.
It’s too late now. Too late to question it all— the plans, all the late-night discussions before I left, thepromises.
I slam to a halt in the doorway. A sob bubbles in the back of my throat, because now I’m faced with the evidence that maybe it was all too much. That the heartache was too great.
I question every decision now that I see what he’s done.
The room with the vaulted ceiling was empty the last time I stepped foot inside it. Now it’s been transformed. I don’t need to look inside the other rooms in the house to know they’ll be piled high with unopened boxes like downstairs.
But this room… this room is nothing like that.
I walk into the center and perform a slow three-sixty as I take it all in. The fresh white paint. The blackout drapes in a soft sage at the windows. The new, plush carpet that feels like a cloud beneath my feet.
The double changing station.
The matching glider chairs, set side-by-side by the window so that they can look out over the garden. The oversized crib. Big enough for two with a mobile hanging above it. A circle of pastel-colored ice-cream cones.
“God.” I clamp my hand over my mouth, tears welling in my eyes as guilt hits me like a truck, making my stomach churn. “What did I do?” I choke as I look around again. “What the hell did I do?”
I run my hand over the edge of the crib. Inside, the two rompers that Maddy and Violet bought are laid out, like they’re waiting for their owners to come and try them on. My hand drops to my stomach, and I keep it there as tightness overtakes my throat to the point of pain.
What did he endure while I wasn’t here? What was he thinking on the nights alone here? I picked up the phone tocall him so many times, before putting it down again. If I’d heard his voice, even just once, I know I wouldn’t have been able to keep it together. It had to be that way, even if it made it all that much harder.
I’m lost in a haze, staring at the two outfits until the air in the room shifts and every cell in my body tingles. I don’t have to see him to know he’s there. My body knows. My gut knows. Every instinct is telling me to run to him.
But I can’t make my legs work.
I curl my hands around the rail of the crib for support and lift my gaze, steeling myself for what I’ll see.
But nothing could have prepared me for this moment.
Because in one meeting of eyes, the torture of everything we’ve done is reflected back at me in his gaze. The pain that so many conversations have led us to. The harsh truths. The plans. The choices. The promises.
All so we could have the future we desperately wanted.
He stares at me, piercing blue gluing me to the spot, suspending me like we’re caught inside a glitch in time. One where only four souls exist. The four in this room.
Blood rushes in my ears, pulling me under like a punishing wave before my legs give way beneath me.
“Drew!” I gasp, choking over every letter.
His broad outline melts before me until I can’t see anything through my tears.
