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I understood her request.
Her fear.
The reason she wouldn’t want to fulfill the contract.
Pull the Band-Aid off now even if it left a scar. But at least, in time, the air would heal the wound, and despite thinking of me whenever she looked at it, at least she wouldn’t have the adhesive snagging on her clothes every time a piece of fabric got close to it.
My girl wanted an answer.
Reassurance.
She wanted me to look her in the face and promise things I’d never voiced to her before.
Love.
A long-term commitment.
And while I’d gazed at her in the kitchen with the mug still in my hand, I had told her how the article had made me feel. How finding out that she had written it was such a huge fucking blow that I wasn’t prepared for. How I’d discussed it with the fellas while she’d been out walking, and they made me see a side that I hadn’t considered.
Her side.
But all that had happened before the phone call from the hospital.
Before I knew the details of the accident.
Before I held her hand that was pierced with an IV and kissed her cheek that no longer smelled of vanilla and lavender. Instead, she was covered in a smell I didn’t recognize.
Remnants of the surgical room and rubbing alcohol and the tape that held the oxygen tubes in her nose.
Smells I couldn’t fucking stand.
God, I’d almost lost her.
I’d almost reneged on the promise I’d made to her father that nothing would ever happen to her.
And while I’d told her about how I held her in that hospital room, I also detailed how I’d thought about her.
About us.
Jovana knew that my mother had shaped my view on relationships. How she had treated my father was the reason I never wanted to get married.
Why Hooked was so perfect for my lifestyle.
But what she didn’t know was that I had learned something else from my mother.
Something vital.
Something I’d carried with me since I found out she had passed.
And that was the importance of time. How it wasn’t promised. How it could slip through your fingers so quickly, you needed to grasp what was in front of you.
Hold on.
Never let go.
I dominated the shit out of that when it came to work, my friendships, and my dad.
Just not with women.
