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“And you tried to kill me!”
The moment I said this and passed the point of no return, was the moment I finally got through to him. When it finally made an impact. Which meant pulling his forearm away from Marcus's neck where he’d had him pinned against the wall. I was actually surprised when Marcus landed on his feet and didn't just crumble to the floor. A testament to his strength for sure. But I couldn’t focus on Marcus right now, because I knew that he would be alright. No, I needed to focus on the angry breaths Jared was taking as he turned to face me.
“What did you say?” I took a shuddering breath, unable to stop the tears from filling my eyes as memories of that night in the cottage came rushing back to me.
The difference between history repeating itself was the first time that Jared had attacked me, he had believed, like Marcus had, that I had been an impostor. When I’d had no voice to speak the truth. But that night I had a voice, and the only words that had come from me had been nothing but the truth. But it hadn’t mattered. Nothing I said or did would convince him of the truth he wasn’t ready to face. So, the important question that I had to ask myself now was if he was ready or not. Because thinking back to that night was a hard memory to forget, despite the forgiveness that came thirty years after it. Which was why by the time I said my first words, I was unable to stop the first tear from rolling down my cheek when I looked up at him.
“You thought I was responsible,” I forced myself to speak. Despite knowing I still had so much more left to say, right now, that was all that made it out of me.
“Responsible… responsible for what?” he asked with a hard, unyielding gaze, and I swear it felt like acid in my throat. I knew that if I didn't start talking, I would just end up screaming this whole story at him as it burst from within me. The guilt of what I had to do next was eating me alive… why couldn’t he see that?
“You… you thought it was me,” I stammered out, making him frown but before he could ask me to explain, I told him,
“You thought it was me that brought them to your home. You thought it was me who got you and… and your… your wife killed.” I pushed out the words and wife nearly got stuck in my throat. His eyes widened before he looked off to the side and snarled at Marcus a single word,
“Leave.”
Marcus didn't speak, but merely nodded to him before granting me a soft, tender look. Because of course, he knew what was coming. I’d always had that feeling around Marcus, that he knew so much more than he was ever allowed to let on. I didn't know whether that was a gift or a curse. Because I knew all about Jared's past, the real truth behind it, and it didn't feel like anything other than punishment.
So, I watched Marcus leave silently, knowing no doubt that he would stay close by and at the ready incase his friend needed him. After all, he knew what was coming. He knew how difficult this conversation was going to be. Hell, he probably knew the outcome already. And instead of hugging him and thanking him for everything he done for me in the past, I wish I'd spent that time asking him what the outcome of this conversation would be. So that I could alleviate the fear of what this may do to us… to our relationship.
“Why would I have thought that, Ella?” Jared asked once we were alone, doing so in a strained tone that I knew was most likely from his own fear at finding out the truth.
“I didn't tell you everything,” I admitted, making a muscle tick in his jaw before he stated in a hard tone,
“No, I'm starting to see that.” The comment that came out in an almost bitter way. But then the moment I looked up at him, as more tears fell, I knew he found it difficult to hold on to his anger.
“I didn't know how,” I admitted, trying to hold back a sob of tears. Something that was finally enough to crack that hard exterior of his, making him cut the distance between us. However, I knew I wasn't ready for him to touch me yet, which was why I took a step back. Hating the hurt that I caused in his gaze.
“Ella?” he almost growled my name, one that became a heavily weighted question. So many questions, in fact, I couldn't just pinpoint one. And well, no fucking wonder, because I tried to put myself in his shoes and knew that I would have been terrified not knowing what he was about to say. About the impact that it could have on our future.
I knew it was now or never. So, I walked over to one of the couches and sat down. Then I let my head hang for what felt like a whole minute before raising it up and seeing that he had joined me in sitting down on the couch to my right.
“I know this is hard, Ella, but you're going to have to give me something here, because I'm going out of my fucking mind.” I nodded, telling him silently that I would. Then I took a deep breath and forced myself to start.
“I never planned this. When I arrived back in the past, I had no idea it was going to send me back so far. I just wanted a couple of days, just a few days to warn you… you know?” He nodded at this, like he understood that had been my intention all along.
“But when I saw you…. Saw you as a mortal man, before you became a HellBeast King, I knew then the terrible mistake I had made. The terrible mistakes I continued to make.” I cried at this last part, and I could tell that he so badly wanted to reach out and comfort me. But when he made a move like he was going to do just that, I quickly held up my hand to stop him. Because I knew that if he did, I would lose the ability to speak at all. It felt like every single emotion I had gone through these past weeks, all the hurt and pain and heartache, well, it had all just come crashing to this point in time.
This single moment.
And it was time to make it right.
“What mistakes, baby? Tell me,” Jared urged, making me take another shuddering breath.
“You brought me into your home, you saved me from freezing in the cold rain. Carried my inside where I… I met your wife,” I pushed out, wiping away the fresh tears that fell at admitting that. And he too looked pained, and he closed his eyes, dragging a hand over the top of his head. The muscles in his neck tensed before he tried to force himself to relax.
“That must have been really hard, baby,” he said, sympathizing with what we both knew was a bitter pill to swallow. But I shrugged my shoulders in a deflated way and told him,
“You have no idea how hard. Especially when at first, I thought you looked really happy.” At this he frowned.
“At first?” he asked, clearly surprised by this.
“I knew I needed to leave, the only place I could think to go was to try and find my uncle, my hope was to find him at Witley Court knowing that he lived there once.” He nodded at this.
“It was a good plan, is that when he made the switch?” he asked, now knowing from my uncle how I had made it thirty years into the future. But I shook my head and told him,
“No, that… that came later. If only I had just left at that point… if only I…” I shook my head as the wishful words died in my throat.
