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“This is as intimate as we can get,” he said, looking at her with pain in his eyes. Her own widened in response to his words. “I’m terrified that when I tell you what happened, you will leave me, Olivia. I need us to discuss this in a controlled environment because I am worried I won’t be able to control myself if you try and walk out on me baby. It would kill me. I don’t have anything more to offer you to make you stay. You have everything that means anything to me,” he leaned his forehead against hers, his own breath catching at his admission. His minty breath fluttered warmly across her face.
She leaned up, taking his mouth in hers deeply, her tongue sweeping, searching for his. She moaned as his dick twitched inside of her.
“Move,” Olivia whispered harshly, trying to press her hips up but it was difficult in her awkward position.“Colin, I’m not leaving you. I love you. I love you so much it hurts. If you can accept me and all my faults, don’t you have faith in me that I can accept you and yours?” she whispered, pulling at her wrists again.
Colin let her go and her arms came around his neck to press him to her.He began to move slowly, dragging his cock in and out of her on a harsh groan.
“You’re so tight…feels so fucking right,” he said gruffly, groaning as he pushed back in on a low slap of their flesh meeting. He moved his arm, squeezing his hand between them and sunk two thick fingers inside of her vagina as he moved his hips leisurely, placing his lips to the side of her neck as she arched on a low moan. She clenched hard around him, her muscles spasming along his finger and his cock.
His thumb pressed tight circles onto her clitoris, knowing she needed extra stimulation to make this feel good.
Olivia grabbed his free hand, pressing it against her neck. He looked at her for a few heart stopping moments and her hand fell away shyly, thinking that he wouldn’t give this to her. Her heart pounded painfully before he’d suddenly tightened his big hand on her neck, watching her eyes flutter closed as she caressed his arms loosely with her hands. After a bit, he eased up and let her suck in air before flexing again.
He felt her body tighten as she silently rode out her orgasm.
He let her throat go, pulling his fingers out of her pussy to lick her juices off before bending down to press his lips once more to hers. They stayed like that until they were both depleted emotionally and physically. He scooped her up and took her upstairs where he stepped them into a bath where they held each other the rest of the evening, only leaving when their skin started to prune.
They stayed in bed most of Saturday, and despite the relaxed day, she felt on edge and had been since they were in the media room. Colin surprised her by making tacos, not commenting on her short replies and lack of talking, thinking that she was just withdrawing after sharing something so intimate. He gave her extra care, cuddling with her in bed, taking a bath with her and settling them in for a movie in bed. They were still trying to feel out each other’s intricacies, and he was mindful to pay attention to anything that could be a trigger.
Sunday, they spent the whole day with Vanessa, Jonathan, and Allison, going to see an interactive play.
Colin again noticed how quiet she was, not being her usual animated self with Allison.
Monday came and went, and Olivia threw herself into her schoolwork again. She had such a rigorous afternoon studying that she fell into bed and was asleep before Colin came home from work a little later than usual, having had to move his therapy appointment with Dr. Tyson back due to an extensive work obligation. He confirmed with Mary that Olivia had eaten before going to bed, not wanting to wake her up unnecessarily.
Colin tamped down his feelings of desire, not having had sex with Olivia since Saturday morning and here it was Monday night, and she was already asleep. Tomorrow evening was their first therapy appointment, and they had already gotten the primary paperwork out of the way so they could spend the ninety-minute session talking. He went to his study and spent several hours working, trying to take his mind off his wife in the bed upstairs.
But it was no use because she was always on his mind and in his heart.
Chapter five
Scarcity Mindset
Tuesday morning, they woke up and got ready separately. Olivia’s mind was heavy on their session tonight. Having never been to therapy, she was worried that the counselor was not going to understand their dilemma and worst of all judge her for giving up her rights to her child. Especially when she'd technically had an opportunity to get her back, because it wasn’t as if Vanessa was keeping her from Allison.
She’d been worried about it all weekend and knew she had been short with Colin. On top of school stress, she was sad that she felt things were changing within the dynamic with her sister and Allison. Though she knew Jonathan was a wonderful man and a much-needed father figure, she felt like she wasn’t needed anymore, and she began to start closing her heart off from her daughter even more. It hurt too bad to think about. And she didn’t want to discuss it in therapy.
And then there was Colin’s secret. She was so antsy she found herself talking back with Colin, and just withdrawing into herself. She hadn’t been this irritable since she was killing herself working at the diner.
Colin dropped her off at school and she struggled anew, finding that she’d barely passed an exam for one class, and missed reading an entire chapter for another.
By four in the evening, she’d realized she missed several texts from Colin, having been too immersed in just barely getting by to notice her phone. She walked briskly to where she knew he was parked and gave him a halfhearted smile as he rounded the car quickly to open the door for her. He stopped her with a hand on her shoulder as she attempted to get in the car.
“Hey, slow down,” Colin said, grabbing her backpack off her back and putting it into the back seat. She began to try and get into the car again, not meeting his eye. “Olivia, stop. Stop and look at me for a second.”
Olivia turned slowly and met his eye, barely holding back her tears.“I don’t want to look at you,” she whispered.
She kept her eyes on his chest as the tear she’d been holding back all day falling and splashing onto her cheek and she rubbed it away hard, sniffing. Wrapping her arms around her waist, she made herself stay still, waiting for his next move.
Colin walked her until her back was against the open car door and put his forearm on the top of the car and leaned in, affording them a little privacy. Her hackles went up as she realized he wasn’t letting her up until he got what he wanted. She glared at his chest before reaching up on her tiptoes to press a chaste kiss to his lips.
His hand grasped her chin and held her still, he tilted her head up until she met his gaze.
The look he gave her was so searingly intimate that her world felt rocked for a split second, and she swayed on her feet. She let out a little whimper and she felt her face flush with emotion. Another tear fell out. Perhaps it was better that she cried before the appointment so she wouldn’t embarrass herself in front of the counselor. He leaned down and sealed his lips to hers in a gentle kiss. His tongue sweeping along hers ever so gently.
“I’m taking you to dinner before the appointment,” he said softly, he noticed her fingers fisting in her sweater. “It’s ok love, do you need to cry before we leave?” he asked suddenly, pressing his lips to the top of her head.
Olivia whined as she broke, all the pent up emotion just leaving her at once at his question. It was like she needed him to give her permission to let it out in front of him. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her into him, and she sank her fingers in his shirt. Crying silently into his sweater. All the while he kept his lips pressed to the crown of her head.
