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But I keep proving myself otherwise.
Maybe I came here to torture myself more. If so, it’s working. I return to the car and head home, my mind busy and ill at ease. When I get back, I’m not surprised to see Ruthie and Izzy and even Flower are gone. They didn’t take all of their stuff, but I know that will come next. Their stuff will follow them out of my life, and soon there will be no sign left of them other than the blankness they’ve left behind and the persistent smell of piss in the foyer rug.
Then I find it, lying open on my bed where she should be. It’s a scrapbook, and after I glance at the first page, I sink onto the mattress. Because I don’t know if my legs could have held me anymore.
I keep flipping.
Each page begins,
I remember Edward Royce.
Chapter Forty-One
Ruthie
I’m at Mrs. Longhorn’s apartment drinking tea laced with bourbon.
Izzy wanted to go to school today, and since the doctor had assured me it would be fine, I took her. Then I spent half the morning pacing around Shane’s house, trying to convince myself my plan would work and this wouldn’t be the end. When pacing didn’t improve my mood, I headed over to my apartment.
As soon as I deposited Flower inside, Mrs. Longhorn swooped her door open and asked me over for tea. Which is how I ended up telling her the whole story, or near enough.
“So it was all fake in the beginning,” I finish.
She sniffs and takes a long sip of her tea, then says, “It wasn’t all fake. The ring’s real.”
“What?” I ask in disbelief, because it’s one of the last things I’d expected her to say.
She holds out her hand, and I give her the ring, feeling a little pang as I slip it off my finger. She lifts it to the light, hems and haws, and then nods. “Honestly, girl, I’m surprised at you. Getting to your age and not knowing a fine ruby when you see it. My daddy taught me to tell real from fake when I was ten.”
“Why?” I ask, gaping.
She shrugs. “He was a jeweler.”
Shit, so she actually knows what she’s talking about.
She chuckles at the look on my face. “What’d you think it was made of, rock candy? You may not be happy with your fellow, but he doesn’t seem like the kind of man who’d buy a woman a fake rock.”
No, he really doesn’t. But he bought that ring for me before we’d even kissed. Why go to so much trouble and expense? I know he didn’t want anyone to think he was cheap, but for God’s sake, there are good fakes.
“I’m…I’m speechless,” I say. “I was so sure—”
She heaves a nicotine-laced sigh. “That man’s in love with you. Any fool could read between the lines. And he supports your work. You know, a very wealthy man fell in love with me once.” She snorts at the surprised look on my face. “I didn’t always have a face like a raisin. I was with him, and he said he loved me better than anything, but he tried to get me to quit the bookstore. I said any man who loves me wouldn’t expect me to quit my job.”
Well, crap. When she puts it that way…
Shane’s supported my dream, and I haven’t supported his. It’s just…it’s not his career I object to, or even the long hours. It’s his belief that only work will give him the kind of legacy worth having, and that only working for an asshole will be challenging enough to help him achieve that. I can’t let him operate on that premise.
“Life’s complicated,” I say with a sigh, taking another sip of the bourbon tea.
“It’s not that complicated,” she says, giving me one of her patented you’re too stupid to live looks. “The boy loves you, and you love him. What you’re doing back here confounds me, to be frank. Your apartment’s a heap of cheap bricks, same as mine, and you’re lonely in there. I saw it the first day we met. I kept trying to invite you around for some company, but you’re very stubborn.”
Huh. I didn’t see it that way. I figured she was asking me around so she could show me that list of my flaws, or subject me to a lecture about motherhood and being a woman, but I’ve come to realize she’s just a thorny person. A thorny person with a kind heart.
“Guilty as charged,” I mumble.
“And then you got that dog without telling a soul, and I knew someone was going to catch you. I wanted to warn you, but you kept lying to me.”
I sigh again, this time at myself. “You knew it wasn’t an animatronic doll?”
