AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Do I look like was born yesterday?”
I’m tempted to remind her that she’s the one who said she bore a resemblance to a raisin, not me, but she saves me the effort by continuing. “Anyway, I figured you’d be smart and take your escape with that very fine man when you were offered it.”
I fiddle with my teacup. “I haven’t given up on him. Haven’t you heard that proverb about letting something go if you love it?”
“That’s just plain dumb,” she says with a sniff. “If you love something, you hold on tight.”
It’s with those words ringing in my ears that I head back over to my sad, over-stuffed apartment. Then, a couple of hours later, I pick Izzy up at school.
She assures me that she feels great and is full of stories, until I tell her that we’re heading back to the apartment for a while.
“But I like my room at Shane’s house.”
“I know, honey,” I say, glancing back at a red light. “But we have to spend a little time at home. The apartment might fall apart if we’re not there to hold it together.”
“Mom, it’s falling apart anyway,” she says in a huff. “A few weeks ago, a piece of plaster fell off the ceiling. Did you forget?”
Honestly, can a person forget a thing like that?
“This probably isn’t forever,” I say, hoping it’s true. “We just need to give Shane a little time to figure some things out.”
She pauses for a second and then says, “Okay, Mom.”
“That’s it?” I ask, surprised to have been let off so easily.
“I know you love him, and he loves you. It always works out in the movies when that happens. I think it’ll work out for us too.”
If only I had my child’s optimism.
But when we get back to the apartment, Shane is waiting outside our door. It’s a gray suit today. A gray suit and the green tie. He’s looking at me so intensely, I feel his gaze in every nerve ending and pulse point in my body.
“Oh, good. Dad’s here. That didn’t take as long as I thought,” Izzy says, giving him a hug. He hugs her back hard, and then she glances up at me. “Mom, can I go inside and watch My Little Pony?” I open the door with a quivering hand, the keys making a percussive sound, very aware that he hasn’t said anything to me yet.
Izzy slips inside, and if she weren’t just five, I’d suspect her of giving us a chance to talk. As is, I’m guessing she really wants to see what those pastel ponies are getting into.
When the door closes, he finally says my name, pouring so much love into it, I nearly start crying.
“You found the book,” I say, my voice shaking. And he takes both of my hands. When he looks me in the eyes, I don’t look away. The warmth in his gaze nearly burns me.
“I found the book. Ruthie, I can’t tell you what it means to me. I…” To my shock, I see tears welling in his eyes. “I didn’t know. I didn’t know. They never talked about him to me. Or to my mom. I thought…” The tears start falling down his cheeks.
I start crying too, because it’s impossible for me to see him like this without crying. I trace his tears, and he looks at my wet fingers with wonder.
“Is that from… Fuck, I barely remember what it feels like to cry. It’s horrible. No wonder I waited so long.”
“And it’s wonderful too. You probably have twenty years’ worth of tears buried inside of you.”
“Oh God, let’s hope not.”
I cup his face. I kiss his wet cheek. I give into my need and kiss his lips, and he kisses me back hard. The feeling of him is a relief so profound I’d happily drown in it.
“They remembered him,” I say, tugging away, “of course they remembered him. I met so many people who loved him, Shane. They still love him. They were so happy to talk to me and your mom. She says it really helped her.”
“You’ve done more for her than I ever could,” he says. “I…I can’t believe you did this for us. Ruthie, there are no words.”
I’m torn between giving him a shove and throwing myself at him out here in the open. Because this man is impossible and beautiful, and so complicated it would take twenty encyclopedias to figure him out. “Yes, I did this for you. And you…you were my wish list angel, and you helped me achieve my dream, and you stood up for me. And that’s not even mentioning the fact that you bought me a real ring, you dumbass.” I do give him a little shove then.
He smiles at me through his tears. “I couldn’t let my wife have a fake ring.” He pauses, and then corrects himself. “I couldn’t let you have a fake ring. I…I want you to know that I’ve decided to stay with Freeman. You’re right. There’s nothing that other job could have given me that matters more than what I already have. Freeman will let me grow the way I want to grow. And I told him the truth about everything, Ruthie.”
