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If any of this were real, it would have been the fairytale kind of wedding. Matt’s mother had undoubtedly outdone herself.
She had picked out my dress, and even that was perfect, even if she had never met me before today. It was a plain mermaid-style dress with a long train, a boat-cut neckline, and long sleeves. It had lace on the sides of my torso, giving me a sculptured silhouette as it extended to my back in sexy, curvy lines.
It had these beautiful, little buttons that took me and my mother forever to fasten, running from my neck straight down ending only after the curve of my ass. The fabric was extremely soft and silky, making it easier to walk in even though it was the tightest dress I had ever worn.
It was simple and unpretentious, just like me, suiting my taste to perfection. I just wished I wore it to marry someone I had agreed to.
The party was nothing more than the both of us trying to endure sitting close without ripping each other’s throats out. I couldn’t understand why we were trying so hard to put on this image of a perfect couple. Everyone here knew this was strictly business. So why the torture?
I was stuck looking at my wedding ring, twisting it around my finger, imagining what my life would be like from now on. I hadn’t thought about logistics, but I guess I’d be expected to move to New York, making my new life even harder and lonelier.
My whole life was back in Detroit, and I’d have to leave everything behind. My life. My family. The business. All of it gone so I could become this wallflower, existing only to please my mafioso husband. Fuck that.
This is what I imagine a living death would look like.
Marrying Liam was bad enough, but at least he wanted it just as much as I did. Not one single bit. But marrying Matt was completely different because he needed me in order to take that damn seat at the big boy table. And if rumors about him were any indication, his ambition was just as fierce as the disdain running through my veins.
I twisted the ring again. The feel of the golden band around my finger was strange, and what it represented even more so. My thumb couldn’t stop the motion, absentmindedly rotating it again, and again, and again. Lost in thought and falling down a reality pit I didn’t care for.
“It’s there for life.” Matt’s alluring voice snapped me out of my drifting thoughts. Was that supposed to be reassuring?
I hated the sound of him. I hated how much I liked his tone and where exactly I felt it every single time he spoke.
“The agreement is to get married. It doesn’t say anything about staying married.” I scorned, wiping that grin right off his face. “How long do you reckon is long enough? Wouldn’t want to make you waste any more days than necessary.” I pushed further, watching as his expression morphed into something I wasn’t expecting. Disappointment.
Matt didn’t seem at all bothered by the fact that he had just tied himself to a complete stranger. He actually seemed happy. A smile had been plastered on his face ever since we entered the reception hall, his hand occasionally finding mine to fake closeness. He was either a damn good actor, or he was getting something more out of this arrangement that I didn’t know about.
“I don’t believe in divorce. It’s a weak choice,” he grunted. His voice dropped to a deadly base. “Once you’ve made this choice,” he lifted my hand, showing me the shiny ring that symbolized my entrapment, “you seal your fate. Honor is to live up to the decisions you make in life. Quitting isn’t one of my options, and that’s exactly what divorce is. Quitting.”
“That sounds like a ‘you’ problem,” I sneered. “I didn’t make this choice, remember? No one consulted me about my wishes. Divorce is very much an option for me and one that will seal my fate.” I threw his words right back at him in a statement without questions.
Matt’s chest rumbled with a deep laughter that was every bit of condescending and belittling. It hit me right on the nerve that I seemed to have reserved just for him, and he knew exactly how to pull on it.
“Think whatever you want, Sweetheart. It takes two signatures for that release, and I won’t be signing. Not now, not ever. You’re stuck with me, whether you like it or not.” Matt replied, placing a small kiss on the back of my hand, right on top of my wedding ring, a fake smile spreading across his face.
“I had a life before this, you know?”
“We all make sacrifices in life.”
“What if I had a boyfriend? Someone I loved? A soulmate?” Such a ruthless man would never care about any of that. He most probably couldn’t even grasp the concept of love.
Something in that picture had Matt’s face plunging into a new darkness, his mask cracking just enough for me to peek underneath.
“It’s time to tell him to fuck off, then.” His tone was dripping in venom, and no fucks to give. “You have a husband now.”
I took my glass of champagne and downed the whole thing in one sitting, trying to drown that truth with bubbly sweetness. The fucking irony!
“Then, like the good submissive wife you think you’ve married, I’ll make it my mission to provide you with a warm home. As warm as Hell can be, Honey.”
“I think congratulations are in order.” Liam cut our little exchange. “You were so quick to leave the church, I didn’t have a chance to catch you.”
Matt stood, enveloping his brother in a manly hug. I forced a small smile onto my lips, trying as hard as I could to be polite to my ex-fiancé and the girl trailing behind him. I’d watched them together, sitting at the table right in front of ours. How affectionate they were to each other, completely engaged, the world around them be damned. The little giggles, caresses, stolen glances. Everything screamed love at the top of their silent actions.
It wasn’t the first time I’d seen her, though. She’d been at that party where I first met my ex-fiancé, Liam.
“Francesca, this is Jamie, my girlfriend,” Liam said, his wide smile almost blinding. He was proud of those words, and in that small reaction, I saw what happiness looked like.
“Congratulations,” she muttered in a shy voice. I could see she didn’t exactly know how to react. She probably knew I was supposed to be marrying the love of her life.
