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I leaned into her body, clutching her like a life preserver. I had been drowning all this time, years of barely staying above water without realizing it, and she had been two houses down the entire time. Her skin was soft, and warm from her time outside in the sun. I rolled her onto her back and covered her, agonizing over how perfect she felt beneath my body, in my arms.
Why did I wait so long to do this?
I pulled away from her kiss and gazed down at her. She had always been beautiful, but never more than in that moment, eyes lidding with lust and full lips demanding to be kissed more.
“I want you,” Alyssa whispered, two words that ignited a fire in my chest. “I want to do this with you before I leave town.”
Her words were a shock. “What?”
“I want… to have sex with you,” she whispered, as if it were some difficult admission.
I leaned back, realizing what was happening here. “I didn’t punch Darren just to get in your pants.”
She frowned. “I didn’t say you did.”
“Then why now?” I demanded. “Why are you suddenly throwing yourself at me?”
“I… I don’t know,” I said. “It was sexy. You’re sexy. What’s the problem?”
“You pushed me away in the pool.”
“So what?” she asked.
“So, I don’t want you feeling like you owe me.”
“I don’t feel like that at all!” Alyssa said. “I didn’t think this would be weird. I’m going to Clemson, and you’re going to Auburn. This might be the last time we see each other, or anyone else at this party. It doesn’t have to be a big deal.”
The last time we see each other.
There it was. That was why she was doing this now, finally giving in to all the years of teasing and flirting. She didn’t feel the same way about me as I felt about her. This was some sort of task for her to accomplish before going to college.
I felt dizzy, so I got up and began pacing. “You just want to do this because we’re all leaving for college?”
“Of course not,” she said, but her heart wasn’t in it.
“I don’t want some meaningless sex,” I insisted. I was bearing my soul out now, making myself vulnerable, but I didn’t care. “You’re not some random girl to me, Alyssa. You mean more to me than that.”
She snorted. “You have a weird way of showing it.”
Before I could argue further, her phone rang. She listened for a few moments, then said, “I’m good. I was just leaving.”
“Alyssa, wait.” I grabbed her arm. I didn’t want her to leave yet. Not before we figured this out. “Let’s talk about this.”
Alyssa slapped me.
I recoiled from the blow. Shock and shame fought for supremacy, and shame won out. Her slap wasn’t hard, but that cheek hurt a thousand times worse than the one that Darren had punched.
Alyssa opened her mouth to say something. An apology, maybe. Whatever words she intended to say died on her lips, and she hurried out of the room.
I stared at myself in the mirror. Any relief I had felt earlier was gone. Now all I saw was my father staring back at me.
There were shouts outside, so I shook off my daze and hurried downstairs to see what was going on. A jolt of terror ran up my spine when I saw a white SUV screech to a halt in front of the house. My father, who was supposed to be at a conference downtown until tomorrow, had returned home.
“I didn’t believe it when Ms. Ford called me,” he growled while stepping out of the car. Broad-shouldered and thick in the arms, he managed to tower over me even though I was an inch taller. “You threw a party?”
“I can explain—”
His fist knocked me to the ground. My ears rang. Classmates were fleeing from the house, but I barely noticed them. Alyssa was gone, and nothing mattered.
