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“I didn’t tell them anything,” Jack retorted. “Which, by the way, I can get in a lot of trouble for. I’m obligated to report any information I know to the inspector. I’m doing you a massive favor by pretending I don’t know about the fuse box.”
“You don’t owe me anything,” I said. “If you’re so worried about getting in trouble, then treat me like any other random woman.”
“Really?” he said, voice growing heated. “After all we’ve been through, you think I don’t owe you anything? Not even friendly courtesy?”
“This is just like the pool party,” I said, exasperated.
Jack let out a surprised laugh. “The pool party? Seriously?”
“You jumped into my business and punched a guy. Just to get in my pants.”
“Bull-fucking-shit.” Jack jabbed a finger in my direction. “You were the one who threw yourself at me. Trying to lose your virginity before going off to Clemson.”
“That’s not even close to the truth!” I yelled. “I always…”
“What?” Jack demanded. “You always what?”
“I always had a little crush on you,” I forced myself to say. The words had been weighing on me all this time, especially since I’d returned to Clearwater. “In spite of the way you treated me when we were young…”
“The way I treated you?”
“…and in spite of the way we butted heads throughout high school, I always sort of liked you. And I was scared to go off to college without losing my virginity. If it was going to be with someone, I… I wanted it to be with you. I felt safe with you.”
The admission felt like setting a broken bone. Everything snapped into place, and years of pain and confusion melted away. I had told Jack how I felt, something that I had never really admitted to myself.
But Jack turned away, shaking his head and laughing. “Do you hear yourself right now, Alyssa? You were using me.”
“I was not!”
“You wanted me to pop your cherry rather than some random frat guy? And then never see me again? Can’t you see how that makes me feel?”
I felt myself recoiling. “That’s the one way I always felt around you, Jack. Safe. Isn’t that a compliment? Doesn’t that make you feel good?”
Jack gritted his teeth and stared at me with a maelstrom of emotions behind those blue eyes. He leaned closer and said, in a voice that was barely more than a whisper, “I feel a thousand emotions about you, Alyssa fucking Ford. But I’m glad I made you feel just one thing. Safe.”
The word hung in the air like a curse.
“I didn’t tell the fire inspector shit. But they’re certain it was arson.”
I swallowed my pride. “It wasn’t arson. They’re wrong. You have to know I wouldn’t do this.”
“It doesn’t matter what I think. Be prepared for the insurance company to deny your claim. And I hope you really have told the truth about that day the house burned down. Get your story straight. Because if you left anything out, they’ll hammer you for it.”
“I wasn’t lying, Jack!”
“I’m not the one you need to convince. We’re talking about criminal charges, Alyssa! If you’re lying, I won’t be able to protect you.”
“STOP PROTECTING ME!” I shouted.
Jack recoiled.
“I don’t need protection. Not from you, or my sister, or anyone else. Do you hear me, Jack Franco? Do you?”
Brandi had come to the door, with Mateo right behind her. Both of them were looking at me like I was crazy. Jack just stood there, looking at me with those complicated eyes.
“I need to get to work,” I said, shoving past them and locking myself in the office.
This is what I get for opening up to people, I thought bitterly. I should have learned from our mother. It’s better to keep your feelings hidden. If you never let them out, they can’t hurt you.
