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Matt sighed, knowing better than to push me when I was like this. He mimicked my stance, his expression serious. “Alrighty then,” he said.
We continued to circle each other, moving in a well-known dance of strength and agility.
I went for a single-leg takedown, a move I’d executed thousands of times before. But tonight, it was different; tonight, I was fueled by emotions—more raw, more desperate.
I knew that wasn’t good.
Letting your emotions run wild clouded your judgment, and letting them drive you was never a good idea.
But I couldn’t get the images out of my head—her moan, the agony in her eyes—they all burned me up from the inside out.
Matt defended—his years of training, his knowledge of me allowed him to fend me off and roll his leg out from between mine.
“I guess your mood has something to do with Fiona Donnelly. Couldn’t fuck out your frustrations?”
I snarled. He was a formidable opponent, his strength matching mine.
In a fair fight.
But tonight, I wasn’t looking for a fair fight; I was looking for an outlet for my anger, an antidote for the helplessness I felt holding Fee in my arms.
To exorcise the rage that was eating at me.
He defended well, sprawling back and trying to establish control, but my determination was a force of its own.
I tried to get into a better position, go for his second leg, but he pushed me down and momentarily controlled my head with his body weight until I freed myself.
“This is not the way to go. Talk to me,” he grunted as he attempted to transition into a backmount.
I blocked him, rolled to the side, and we ended up in a side-control position. “Fee…” I managed to spit out, my voice choking up. “She…she was…”
I couldn’t finish. The memory of her fear, her pain, was too fresh. I got my arm under his, then pushed to my side and threw him over me, trapping him beneath me.
It wasn’t a fight but a release of the burning fury within me.
“Fee was what, Alex?” Matteo demanded, struggling beneath me, trying to escape from my hold, breathing heavily.
“Remember when Sophie was kidnapped?” I gritted my teeth, trying to get my arm around his neck. “Fee was, too,” I barely whispered, the revelation as painful as a punch to the gut.
Matt’s struggle ceased momentarily, shock flickering in his eyes. But then, he was moving, slipping from my side control to draw me into his guard.
“I didn’t know, bro.”
I sighed. “She was taken,” I hissed, my grip tightening around his wrist as I worked to free myself from his guard. “Hurt. God knows what they did to her.” I hesitated. “And I didn’t even think about it.”
Matt’s eyes hardened.
He broke my grip, swiftly transitioning to a headlock. “And now that you thought about it, we will make them pay,” he said, his voice as cold as ice.
As cold as the block of ice in my stomach.
And he was right. “We make every single one of them pay.” My words trailed off. For a split second, I imagined Fee’s terrified face, her heart-wrenching sobs, and my throat tightened.
I would make them pay.
Slowly. Agonizingly. Painfully.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
